This is going to be a long one. Its the very sad heart breaking story of a dear friend of mine and how she is now a shell of the women she was before, she is broken beyond repair and my heart breaks for her every day.
Christmas day last year she found out her husband was having an affair, it took him four days to come clean and tell her everything, 19 year marriage down the drain(after the other women cut all contact) 14 months it had been going on. they had seen each other at least three times a week, every week, mainly at his mates flat, but sometimes in my friends house even her bed, Also the other women's house while her husband was out and her kids were upstairs. She was a bored house wife lets call her Emma, her husband a head teacher that worked a lot, and could not get it up according to her, They would go on date days to Birmingham, stay whole days together in hotels all while my friend was at work. She had no clue!! She told me the only change in him was he was a little distant and he was spending more time on his phone, they were still having sex weekly and getting on well, They had a great marriage, so she thought. She asked him why he did it, he said it was on a plate, she was flirting the whole time he was working there and he was weak, he couldn't help himself, she told him the woes of her marriage and he felt he was saving her from "Tom the tyrant". He has taken great pleasure in sharing every detail of what he did with her, He always tells her things when he is angry just to hurt her more, She knows so much now she cannot sleep for seeing them doing all the things he has told her. She has lost so much weight, she never sleeps, she looks like she is dying on the inside and I don't know how to help her. He refused to move out because she didn't leave her husband and her big house in Codsall. My poor poor friend said to me the other day," I feel like they have stolen my whole life, but the thing I miss the most is peace of mind, I think about it every day it consumes my thoughts".
They tried couples counselling but the Councillor told my friend she needed to join the freedom program, and would not see her again until she had. She is now on her third lot of antidepressants, but she still says she wishes she could crawl into a cave and just die.
I just don't understand how people can be so cruel? how do you do this to someone? She is a kind, beautiful person that is now damaged beyond repair. Yet the other women moves on with her husband like nothing happened and her husband just pretends like it never happened. So how do men forgive wives who do this ????? Same question for women my friend stays to keep the roof over her children's heads, as he has told her he would make getting a divorce as difficult as possible and he would make sure she got as little as possible. She has no savings to do anything. Why do men cheat on good wives? She is pretty, keeps the house lovely, cooks cleans and works. It seams to me you can do everything for a man and it still is not enough? How can I help her to move forward?