im 35, had about 4 "serious" relationships and one abusive 7 month one which ended 3 years ago. all i wanted for as long as i can remember is a husband and family. i am independent, have friends and a life and a good career, but the family set up was always something i wanted too.
so i decided at 32 to focus on only AVAILABLE men - i.e not men who didnt want children/didnt have emotional problems or were needy/wanted to travel/played games.
then i met someone who ticks all the boxes...even sex is great, better than i have ever experienced. he calls when he says he will. hes straightforward, no games. it is so easy and calm.
but i keep getting scared. i feel like we could very likely marry, have kids and forever after. and with that i feel like that part of my youth is gone forever...the dramas i used to have with men, the drunken snogs on a night out, the first kisses...basically ALL of the stuff that i spent my entire twenties wishing would be replaced by marriage and kids!
i almost feel in shock still that it feels so right and so calm and so normal and easy and with that i realise that suddenly i am on the verge of saying goodbye to the struggles of the past. it sounds silly but i after all this time im actually quite scared of something real.
has anyone ever experienced this?