Cheating partner and joint mortgage

[incendio]

Hi everyone, just looking for a bit of advice.

I bought a flat with DP this summer and we'd been moved in not even a week when I found out he'd cheated on me. It was totally out of the blue and unexpected.

I put him out of the house and we've been trying to work through things but I've realised it's not going to happen. I don't love him anymore and it's not the relationship I want to be in.

Now my issue is that we have a joint mortgage and I want to keep the flat. When I first found out he agreed that if I wanted to he would sign everything over to me as my parents gave us the deposit and our first mortgage payment hadn't been paid so he'd put no money towards it. However I'm unsure the bank would allow this as we struggled to get the mortgage in the first place bc we have low credit scores as we're mid 20s and don't have a lot of credit. I've been paying the mortgage myself.

I obviously want everything signed over to me as soon as possible because I don't want him being able to come sniffing once he's moved on and doesn't have emotional ties to me anymore. I haven't broken up with him yet and want to take a bit of time to see where I stand with the mortgage.

Has anyone been through anything similar?

What has your solicitor said?

I haven't been to see her yet as we were trying to work past it. I wasn't sure if it would be best to go to her or the broker that sorted our mortgage initially?

Solicitor

Should I be going with him or can I go by myself?

You need to see if you can get the mortgage on your own otherwise you won't be able to get it signed over surely?

It would require a transfer of equity . The bank would then do another affordability check to make sure you can afford the repayments on your own

Yeah, that's why I was wondering if it was the broker I should be going to to see if he'd be able to negotiate it.

Would your folks act as guarantors?

Yes, ask the broker first. If a mortage in your sole name is do-able then see a solicitor about buying him out.

There's not likely to be any equity and surely he will agree any there is he will relinquish as the OP paid the deposit and has paid the mortgage since.

But, yes, it's up to the mortgage co if they will allow you to have a mortgage for that amount in your own name - it's not a negotiation by the broker I'm afraid, it's a paper exercise on income, expenditure and risk profile, so you need to go to the broker and ask their advice. If there is no way to get the mortgage you'll have to sell if you don't want him to own half (and why would you! Nor would he want to be responsible for the mortgage going forward).

Whether you sell or transfer you will need a solicitor so you may as well get it lined up, on your own, not with him, he will need his own.

You may want to consider how you come to an agreement with him about the costs involved - each pay your own legal fees for a transfer but if you have to move then you should probably split the estate agent fees and the solicitor fees for the sale, for example.

I've done this both ways - once I bought him out, the other he bought me out.

My mortgage lender wouldn't let my partner come off because I didn't earn enough alone. He had to stay on the mortgage for years and years as we couldn't sell due to the financial climate and were in negative equity.

I got him to sign a deed of trust saying he was responsible for 50% payments until we sold as he was the one who wanted the place and he was cheating.

Sorry you find yourself here

My dh could borrow more alone due to my other outgoings than us together.

Depending on his income and credit risk you might be okay, or maybe your parents could take on the other half?

On paper he’s due half the value of the flat, regardless of what he ends up paying (or not) so agree that you probably need to sort this out quickly.

Thanks for all the replies, everyone!

I'll make an appointment with the broker and see what he says.

My parents would happily act as guarantors for me but when we initially struggled to get the mortgage I'd asked the broker about guarantor mortgages and he said they were virtually non existent here (I'm in Scotland) so not sure if that would be an option.

It's rotten, this isn't how I thought things would pan out!

Could one of your parents join you on the mortgage if being a guarantor isn't possible? Obviously you pay it, but it's a solution.

@TattyCat possibly, but they have a small mortgage on their new house (less than 20k) so not sure if that would be an option. If it was that would be ideal though so I can ask about that.

No reason your parents can't have another mortgage if they can afford it. I think one of your parents taking over from your ex will be your only real option here.

Just had a thought - if one of your parents did 'take on' (for paperwork purposes only) there may be additional stamp duty payable because it's a second home for them. Needs checking first because I could be wrong. But definitely worth exploring if they're willing to do that in order for you to extricate yourself.

I was in a similar position when I separated from my first husband. I was tied into a YBS mortgage and spoke to them and I didn't earn enough to take on the mortgage myself so to work around it my parents had to come on the mortgage with me which YBS would allow. We spoke to a solicitor and had to do a transfer of equity from me and my ex to me and my parents (along with some other conveyancing stuff). I kept my YBS mortgage until the term expired and when that was finished my mortgage was a bit lower and I earnt a bit more so I found a provider that would lend me the full amount and again did a transfer of equity back from me and my parents to just me.