Is the first year supposed to be this difficult?

[LondonMM]

Hi all,

I've been in a relationship for 10 months now. My partner and I couldn't be more different, which to me isn't always a bad thing. But I just find that because of that we just don't understand each other very well. We both try and find middle ground and better ways of communicating but we are just struggling. I find that he's so ridiculously stubborn that it's difficult to get him to see things from my perspective. We love each so much, more than I've ever loved anyone before but I am worried for our future.

I was previously in a 10 year relationship which was pretty smooth sailing in this respect and I always thought that the first year should be the easiest because it's the 'honeymoon' period, so now I'm wondering whether it's the right thing. We both want it to work but is it enough?

OP, why do you need to "get him to see things" from your perspective?

This would be the point where you say "Sorry but we're not suited".

I don’t think things should be such a struggle personally.

No, it's not. This sounds like a red flag to me, but I agree - can you elaborate on the stubborn/perspective things? Any examples?

What was the catalyst for ending your previous relationship?

I think there’s a big difference between respectfully disagreeing and disrespectfully either being closed minded, or trying to control the other.

Sounds like very hard work. You know it was different with your ex and it can be again.

There are other men out there you’ll enjoy spending time with who are a better fit.

Don’t be sucked into the drama of trying to get it working between you, there’s nothing good about managing or coping when yue first year should be a happy honeymoon one, as you say!

I don't think anything should be very much like hard work whilst you are living separately for the first few years. You're supposed to be having fun.