Husband is married to his phone..

[BengalLioness]

I am literally sick to death with my husbands obsession with his phone (&football).

He watches football on his phone, reads news articles about football, has several group chats discussing football 24/7 or he's organising football , playing fantasy football - I have just about got him weaned off PS4 playing Fifa but now FIFA 19 is out I'm sure it'll start again. During football transfer season I barely speak to him because he's glued to his phone even more than normal.

He will wake up all hours of the night just to stare at his phone . I've woken up at 3am to see him looking at some football related article or responding to WhatsApp messages. Our whole life revolves around the football season. I have had many chats with him over the past 10 years and it has been slowly reducing. Just not enough- I am not sure how to make him understand that this he spends more time on his phone than he does with his family!

Just needed a rant.

I feel your pain mine oh is Facebook not football he probably knows more stuff about work colleagues than he does me. it’s so frustrating I’ve mentioned it he is usually just putting it down wen I come back in the room if he put that much effort into his marriage it would be worth having but right now I’ve given up

What attracted you to him in the first place?

Ditto. He can't even leave it in another room for ten mins to go play with his kids. It's sad.

Replace football with F1 and that's my DH.

Maybe not to those extremes though!

God, how boring, limited and immature. And Fifa? How old is he?

I don't think I could stand that.

@NotTheFordType - he's caring , funny, loyal, a good cook, helps anyone and everyone... there's lots of things I love about him. He told me about his football passion when I met him ... I just didn't realise how much.

@Pessismistic I'm lucky he doesn't have any other social media really , other than using WhatsApp for his group chats!

@BretonStripe He makes time for our 6 year old son and plays with him at set times of the day. Although he does push the whole football thing onto him too - constantly talking about how he wants him to become a footballer which frustrates me he's getting better at encouraging him to find his own interests - ( work in progress)

@EdWinchester I think I've just gotten used to it over the years- and it's reduced over time the gaming part but he's still on his phone all the time reading/chatting about football!

WhatsApp in the middle of the night? Come on !

He’s having an affair.

Obviously

@PouchofDouglas he's not. He doesn't hide anything from me. I know the password to his phone and it's synced to my laptop. It's all footy. Even at 3am - he doesn't hide anything when I wake up and carries on reading whatever or responding to whoever.

He plays with his child at set times of the day ? How does that work ?

Who looks after his child for all the rest of the time ?

@Kr1stina after work for an hour . Rest of the time we're at work , he's at school, after school clubs etc. He usually makes time for him every day.

He's looked after jointly. I was talking about play.

OK. You ask to look at it. Bet he’s having two conversations at the same time

Whatsapp at night. Been there, made a mug of.

Don't listen to these saying he's having an affair. They clearly are projecting and well... you know him!

Time for another chat? This time .. mean what you say

@Yonijust @PouchofDouglas

I'm 100% sure he's not cheating and I am one of those people that sneaks through his phone and puts it back lol. Wrong I know.

@MintyJones

I think he wants to stop looking but it's become an addiction. We've got a rule now that no phones/tablets whilst eating. He's only started doing that since he's realised our sons picking up on his habits and he doesn't want him to be the same ... I'm just running out of ideas . He knows it's not normal but he's struggling to stop. He brought it up himself once saying he wants to try be on his phone less but then it all goes out the window again..

I had a chat with him this morning- went better than I thought it would.

He admitted he has an addiction to his phone . This started after he wouldn't leave his phone to go to the toilet, when I asked him. We agreed starting with an hour a day leaving his phone some place and increasing slowly.

Are some people just more likely to be addicted to technology? He had an addiction to gaming several years ago and this took a very long time to stop.

This started after he wouldn't leave his phone to go to the toilet, when I asked him

TBF, having a shit is really boring without some sort of distraction 😂 Which is why everyone used to have a stack of books/magazines in their bathrooms!

But seriously, yes his behaviour definitely puts him in the addiction camp, purely on the point of causing him anxiety at the thought of not having [his x].

Its great that he's recognised this. Has he considered looking for a therapist who specialises in addictive issues?

Even at 3am - he doesn't hide anything when I wake up and carries on reading whatever or responding to whoever

Don't listen to these saying he's having an affair. They clearly are projecting and well... you know him!

Well, o.k just carry on as usual. Im sure he's whatsapping himself in the early hours of the night.

So he works most of the day which I take he’s not on his phone constantly?
He spends an hour with his son. No phone?
He’s agreed to spend an hr without his phone by leaving it somewhere.
How about you both agree not to take phones to bed?
I think a lot of people are addicted to their phones and need to learn how to manage it.

@Yonijust well aren't you full of great advice.

@Beechview yes it's a start. So if we can have some time without technology in the evening that may give us some time to talk without any distractions. I hate talking to him when he's clearly not listening because he's busy reading commentary from a football match!

@NotTheFordType he laughs about going to therapist to talk about this. I think he's embarrassed about it really. He sees a therapist for general anxiety anyway so maybe he could mention it.

Hi Op I've just seen your husband has general anxiety disorder. When my anxiety was bad I would play on a game all night as it took me out of my head of a sorts. I could get lost in it for a while and saved me from anxious thoughts. It was one of the things that soothed me, almost like a safety blanket. Then when my laptop broke I almost was having panic attacks realising my one comfort was gone and I was soo angry and was thinking what do I do now and being restless until it was fixed.
This was several years ago and whilst I now enjoy a game or two, I don't go on it every night hiding away from my feelings and real life. Any chance your husband is using it an escapism for his disorder? Once I realised it was unhealthy how much time I was spending on these games and neglecting other areas of my life did I stip playing it so much and now it's an enjoyment now and then instead of taking over my life due to terrible panic attacks. Just a thought. Maybe ask him this?

Oh I still worked full time and went to sleep albeit later than I would if I wasn't playing it but still used it as crutch.

Agree -if only you’d said Definitely. Comforter for this anxiety

Sounds like a serious addiction. He truly should mention to his therapist