Interested in advice. I have a very close friend - like a best friend - although it's been far too intense at times and because of their poor boundaries there have been times that I've had to pull back after too many invasive questions/too much contact. Things got weird about two weeks ago and I decided I didn't really want to be close friends anymore as was hurt by something that was said to me, so sent a message trying to pull back but she replied about how valuable the friendship was to her etc and I decided to give it a second chance.
Since then she's been all over the show. Sometimes I get messages like usual, sometimes she doesn't reply for days (which never used to happen), sometimes she's kind, sometimes she's terse. I've suggested hanging out and she's said no whereas before she used to suggest a lunch or something every week or so. It feels like she doesn't want to be my friend anymore but keeps giving me the odd crumb every now and then. There has also been a pattern of messaging to ask me how I am and me replying then her not replying to me at all.
She doesn't have many other friends, and none as close as I am as far as I know. I have lots of close friends and this is the only friendship I've ever had that's this intense and weird so it's not a habit for me.
After something that happened yesterday (it's to boring to explain but ended up in her thinking I'd said something mean that I hadn't because she'd misunderstood something I'd said and rejecting an olive branch which really upset me) I decided I can't keep this up, it's too draining. I have other friends and the situation is distracting and hurtful. Plus I have social anxiety so the inconsistent contact is doing my head in. I drafted a message to ask for space.
But then before I could send it - a message that said she's really unhappy and anxious and her mental health is all over the show and she's suffering.
I don't know what to do now. I care about her, but this situation is effecting me. But then I messaged again today to ask how she was and she was short with me. I'm in desperate need of space from the situation but feel like it'd make all of her problems worse.
WWYD?