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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Guilty

4 replies

Howdoyoudoit31 · 05/10/2018 22:59

Background:
Iv been with my partner 10 years. Not married but we have a mortgage together. 2 kids 7&5 together and he has an older daughter who’s 10 that we have eow.
I’m 29 and he’s 33.

We have been together basically my whole adult life but I’m not happy anymore - there is no one else!
I don’t think Iv been happy for few years. I have said to my partner that I’m not 100% happy with us but I know he loves me and I feel so guilty ending the relationship.

A couple of reasons I’m not happy is:

Miss matched sex drives. Mines higher, his lower.

He always moans I don’t do enough around the house, usually comes to a head every few months when he has a massive go at me and ends in silent treatment. (He works 5 days a week, I work 2. Our youngest has severe autism which is why I haven’t upped my hours since both kids are at school now)

He doesn’t really like me going out for nights out and although doesn’t say anything I can generally tell he’s moody about it. Although this has got better recently.

And finally I just don’t think I love him like I should anymore. I used to really love him years ago but now the thought of him cheating on me doesn’t even make me feel sad.

I would feel horrendously guilty though if I ended it. What can I do? Do I give it more time and hope my feelings change or should I end it? Somehow?

Has anyone ever ended a long term relationship with kids involved and it has turned out ok in the long run. I feel so guilty.

Sorry about my bad grammar etc. I’m on a phone and my son smashed the screen by throwing it today Angry

OP posts:
Changedname3456 · 06/10/2018 07:24

I imagine he doesn’t like you going out because he’s picked up that you don’t feel the same way about him so he senses the risk (whether you’d ever go through with it or not) of you cheating / meeting someone else whilst out.

It doesn’t sound very sustainable.

Howdoyoudoit31 · 06/10/2018 17:46

Changedname - maybe but Iv never cheated and wouldn’t. I’m still entitled to go out and see my friends, have a night out though without him getting moody. I don’t think it’s justified.

OP posts:
SandysMam · 06/10/2018 17:52

Just leave him, life is too short to be miserable. Just make sure you have your kids best interests at heart and don’t get giddy and silly when you meet someone new.

Howdoyoudoit31 · 06/10/2018 17:54

SandysMam - my kids are the most important thing and probably one of few reasons I’m still with him. They will always come first and I won’t be going silly if we did split and I met someone new considering I’d just like to be single as well Grin

OP posts:
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