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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Old girlfriend photos

12 replies

Notmyrealname85 · 05/10/2018 21:16

Ok so I know what you’re going to say... that I was snooping. But i wasn’t! I love my boyfriend and have had no trust issues with him at all, all is fine

Except... his laptop is better than mine and I regularly use it for work. We’ve been together nearly two years and not exactly got much to hide (we’re pretty vanilla and low drama).

I was trying to find a document I worked on last week and found there’s a “recents” search you can do, I haven’t used it before. And I see he’s been looking at a folder called “wedding” and thought it was pics from one we went to last month.

So it wasn’t that wedding, it was one from years ago that he went to with his ex. He was with his ex for 5 years and she left him. The photos are taken at the wedding but it’s just pics of them two of them, silly photos etc.

I have two questions... AIBU to wonder why he still has the pics (or why he was looking at them)... and also... AIBU to be gutted that I’ve realised we’ve never looked that happy

They look like this glowing, gloriously happy couple and the two of them just larking about in a beautiful setting, they look so happy. The pics were taken just over a year before I met him

I’m wondering if I’m someone he’s killing time with

Sorry for the rambling post

OP posts:
Notmyrealname85 · 05/10/2018 21:17

Oh and WORSE ... I’ve now looked at the pics!! So now it shows on the computer that I’ve looked at them... so he’s going to suss it. Tbh I just need to ask him, I know

OP posts:
BeanJen · 05/10/2018 21:25

You sound a bit paranoid. (That's not meant to be insulting just a shame). Lots of people 'look' happy when they're not. She clearly wasn't happy or she wouldn't have ended it. You shouldn't worry about how the photos look, but you should worry about how they make you feel. If you don't think you're that happy, then why not? Does something need to change? Are you worried about him not being happy or you?
I think it's quite normal to look at old pictures without wishing that he was still with her, but if it bothers you I would have a chat with him. Honesty is the best policy and can only make things clearer for you. 'I noticed you'd been looking at this' can't really do any harm. Unless he has something he doesn't want to share with you. Either way you have your answer.

sockunicorn · 05/10/2018 21:26

i would wait for him to ask. then just tell him the truth if he asks you. and maybe ask why he was looking.

it could be totally innocent, he may have been looking for a photo for the bride and groom, or just have stumbled across them.

BreakYourselfAgainstMyStones · 05/10/2018 21:29

Does anyone delete pictures from their computer when they get with someone new.

I like a trip down memory lane looking through old pictures and listening to old music.

It means nothing.

How happy they look compared to you is all in your head.

Don't mention it, own up if asked, and don't snoop again, good rarely comes out of it.

TheDarkPassenger · 05/10/2018 21:29

They clearly weren’t happy if she left him!

MMmomDD · 05/10/2018 21:31

OP - take a breath...
He is not going to look at what was recently looked at on his computer...
Not a normal thing to do unless, like you - you don’t remember where you saved that file.
And even if he looks - he’ll just remember that he was looking at the pictures.

As to why he has the pictures. Because it’s his history, his life. Can’t erase it. And why would he.
You don’t seriously suggest he destroys his pictures dated prior to meeting you? All his history?

And no crime looking at them. Maybe he got reminded of something from that time. Maybe he thought about her. And looked.
Not something to obsess about.

He is with you, not her

Orlandointhewilderness · 05/10/2018 21:36

oh everyone has old pics OP, i wouldn't worry. is everything ok apart from that?

Notmyrealname85 · 05/10/2018 21:55

Yes everything is fine, I suppose we don’t go out that much and somehow they look like a much better suited couple... tbh she’s much prettier than me (I haven’t seen a pic of her before!), it’s just photos of the two of them not anyone else

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 05/10/2018 21:58

I’d just say you opened it on accident when looking for a file . And I have old pics of my exes . It’s meaningless.

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 05/10/2018 21:59

Also have been out with guys who were better looking then others , but it never made any difference , he obviously likes you as he’s with you and not her x

Notmyrealname85 · 05/10/2018 23:07

I’m more miffed that he did... tho yes secretly a bit insecure now! But why look at old photos, it shows that he’d looked at nearly all of them :/

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 05/10/2018 23:56

He could have been trying to find one particular pic that maybe his friends had asked for ? Is he still in contact with his ex?

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