I can’t help but worry, I never used to be like this.

[Worriedwife18]

Hello everyone, I’ve been with my husband for 11 years we have a great relationship he’s 15 years older me although never been an issue, we have a house together & lots of dogs lol (he had the snip!)
He is a police officer & works long & irregular shifts he’s a very handsome man & does get a fair bit of attention I never used to mind use to be flattering, I kinda thought the uniform attracted people as women some do seem to like the uniform however over the past year I’ve found myself worrying day/night that he’s cheating on me 😢 not physically I don’t think he would do that but texting or flirting! A woman made a comment on his Facebook the other day it was so disrespectful knowing he has a wife & when I asked him about it he said he didn’t even know her she just added him randomly. But it made me feel so angry & terroritorial over him I’ve never experienced these feelings before.
I think I trust him or I always did 100% but women seem to have no respect for other women these days they see it as a challenge. I guess I’m after some advice reassurance just someone to say they have the same feelings maybe 😢

Well re FB, you have to accept a friends request, folk can't just add themselves to your page.

If you have no reason not to trust him don't let strange women affect your relationship; if though your gut is trying to tell you something, there's usually a reason for it.

It’s hard to tell from your post if the problem lies with you or him?

Do you think he is cheating or do you not like the flirting behaviour? Is he actually flirtatious?

If other women fancy him then fair enough providing he is fully respectful of you and you trust him?

It's all too easy these days.
Me and dh are off fb now.
Don't miss it
More trouble than it's worth
Few years back dh had 2 ex gf make a play for him on fb
No self respect bah bah.

What was the comment?

Yeah pretty weird to have a random woman on your FB when you have to accept them...

There must be a reason why you are feeling the way you are. Any other signs recently?

Yes @Robin2323

This. This. This.

At the beginning of our relationship, my OH and I said we were going to quit FB. Just seems to cause more trouble than it's worth. Spend 20 minutes every morning scanning through, through boredom.

Just wasting my time and dragging down my self-esteem.

So we got rid of it. And it was the BEST decision ever.

I tried to go back on it to start a business page but I quit again after like 3 days. Hate it so much now!

It's hard to tell here, what was the comment she made?

She commented on a picture saying “how handsome better not say anymore or you’ll be in trouble with the mrs” with a wink face. How disrespectful is that?!

Well, you'll get mixed reactions to that, but personally I'd just have laughed it off and not thought twice about it. I'd probably have commented to my husband he had an admirer and laughed.

I think getting very angry, territorial, and worrying day and night hes cheating would indicate there is a deeper problem here.

But again, it's hard to tell if it's something he has done, or if you're struggling with low self esteem or something? Ie if it's you or him?

I think it’s me, he doesn’t flirt & he’s never given me any reason to be suspicious. I think I’m just going through some sort of phase

That's an odd comment from a random woman definitely. I would be slightly annoyed at that... but it's not indicative of anything I don't think.

There is a reason for you feeling this way. Has anything happened recently to make you lose some confidence maybe? Has his behaviour drastically changed?

We always have had a very good relationship, nothing has really changed no, he has been stressed at work recently so has been a bit grumpy but what man doesn’t have grumpiness every now & again. Everyone said he’s be jealous because I was so much younger but it’s certainly me that’s jealous, I think I just see so many people that partners cheat when there is nothing wrong in the relationship it’s made me worry. It’s a horrible feeling.

Is this someone he works with? Because most emergency personnel I've encountered have a strict "no social media" polisy.

No it was a random add a while ago apparently

Ok, then, let's assume this is about your insecurity and low self esteem, some random jokey comment on his face book page is irrelevant. Seriously. It's nothing,

So maybe you could speak to your gp about your anxiety, worrying day and night he's cheating isn't normal, it's damaging for you, him and your relationship.

I'd go seek some help to get you through this. 💐

Personally I find it weird that your husband is accepting random women as friends on FB, how old is he ? 15 , when the amount of friends / followers is considered a popularity contest .

Also that msg was done on purpose , it implies intimacy...is she local to you or from another country entirely? Not that stops people from having online affairs these days 🙄

You are feeling this way for a reason , it’s called your gut instinct! Listen to it ! X

Any good professional police officer would think twice about adding a random person to Facebook. Huge risk.

Not really a post to question my husbands abilities as a police officer. He’s a good officer he has been for 20+ years.
It does make me wonder if he knows the woman in question

Is she local to you OP? I’d say he probably does know her...he wasn’t expecting you to ask and so tried to explain her away as a random stranger who goes round adding married men on FB and then commenting on their pics like come on , this isn’t realistic

My point is that if he is a professional officer he will not be adding strangers to his fb. Therefore it is distinctly likely that she is not a random stranger

@Worriedwife18

Have a look at this ow's profile, if she's local or has friends in common etc, also her job if it mentions it. The only ppl who randomly add on Facebook are those seeking popularity but will have friends in common or fake profiles set up by internationals trying to work up a relationship of fake name to ask for money, it's happened to my sister about twice she's very gullible tho n talks to anyone online

I'd be having words to him about why he's accepting random women, me and my partner only accept people we know from school,college, uni or work. There's never any "randoms" and if we did do that , it would come into question why? It's almost like going into a bar and getting a random woman's contact details. Why should it be any different online?

Your husband is law enforcement... that's another strange thing my partner is also law enforcement and they are told strictly to make their DV profiles hidden and private. If he was accepting random women would definitely set alarms running

I'm sorry but I think your husband may know who she is, get snooping! It's the way I've ALWAYS discovered stuff with the so. Snoop as much as you can phone, text messages, messenger, WhatsApp