Pregnant and DP doesn't want sex. Frustrated!

[Garrammmb]

I'm currently pregnant. DP not happy to have sex or be intimate as it makes him feel uncomfortable. Sex life great until now. I absolutely respect this and he assured me after baby is born we will get our sex lives back on track!

Thing is, I'm finding masturbation really boring and hardly have time to do it as we are usually in the house together. Anyone have a similar experience whilst pregnant? Never used toys or anything like that and I'm just generally suffering as I really want sex, am not satisfied by masturbation and am getting a bit bored!

Any advice? Anyone else's partners not want to pleasure them whilst they were pregnant?

I seem to be the horniest I've ever been and at the same time the most frustrated! Worried our relationship is going to suffer because of it as we have always been a 3-4 times a week minimum type couple!

Surely he can pleasure you in other ways without penetration; don't actually get men that do this anyway, I'd find that extremely hurtful.

What's he going to do, will he not feel the same if you are usually doing it up to 4 times a week, seems a bit odd.

@Adora10 he finds it really uncomfortable and doesn't like that he is a few inches away from baby. I have no idea why as it doesn't bother me at all, however because he is SO uncomfortable with it I really just don't want to push him in to it if he doesn't want to. I don't understand it but I have no choice but to respect it.

Get him to use his hands instead.

I've always thought that guys who get intimidated by the thought of their unborn and completely clueless child are a strange mixture of vain and pathetic. It's nearly always framed as 'I don't want to hurt the baby' when really it's them being freaked out by the concept of having a 'third party' presence. Definitely some weird sexual repression stuff going on there.

Wasn't a problem for me anyway; for both of my DW's pregnancies we were DTD right up until the end (mostly to try and get things moving near labour, it has to be said). Some reassurance might help, along with reminding him that, no matter how well-endowed he is, there's zero chance of a close encounter (if you can give that speech with a straight face, of course).

Usual response is that nobody should feel pressured into sex and why would you want sex with someone who isn’t into it.
I understand it may be frustrating but he shouldn’t do it if he doesn’t want to- whatever the reason

Loving the double standards on this thread. If he doesn’t want sex, for any reason, then that’s his choice. End of.

And he’s been completely upfront about why that is. Maybe to some people that sounds odd, or ‘pathetic’, but that doesn’t matter - his feelings; his choice.

Fair enough he feels uncomfortable being close to the bump, I don't see how this stops him in other ways to please his partner and vice versa.

Most folk want to have a sexual relationship with their partner, otherwise you are basically just friends; intimacy does matter and you can achieve that in loads of ways other than penetration so I'd be exploring those options with him.

He can't help feeling the way he does but you have all this extra blood flowing and making you feel the way you do. Why does he have to be out of the house for you to masturbate?

Maybe find some links about how safe and common sex during pregnancy is?

How many months are you? I’m pregnant too and while we are having sex a bit less due to nightly coma shutdown on my side, I’ve been conscious to make sure we do have sex so we stay on track in that regard, so totally get what you mean.

Is he worried about hurting you/the baby or is he more being squeamish about it?

My DP is exactly the same. We don’t have a massively active sex life anyway and that suits us both but at 27 weeks pregnant we haven’t had sex since April and that feels horrendously long time.
We are going away next week for a few days so I’m wondering without the stress of work and is both feeling more relaxed and hopefully less tired maybe we will and it’ll get us back on track.
I’m not actually bothered for sex right now but it worries me that it’s a very long time to not have sex and I get a bit worried about it becoming “normal”

I understand your frustrations but I also agree with pp about the double standards. Could you imagine the flaming a man would get if he posted his pregnant wife wasn't interested in sex and he was bored of sorting himself out.
The only thing you can do is communicate how you're feeling and maybe try and educate him about how it won't hurt the baby at all. I'd imagine after the birth and your recovery his sex drive will return to how it was

My OH was put off as he was worried he would be bouncing off the baby😂. Joking aside he really found the hole idea traumatic. Find other ways to pleasure each other

I don't understand why you can't masturbate while he's in the house?

Could you wear a nice nightie? Maybe if he can't actually see your bump??...