Think my marriage is over, what now.

[jmh740]

I've been with oh for 13 years married 9 2dcs things have been rocky for a while I tried to sit him down yesterday and tell him I wasn't happy we talked for over 2 hours I thought we had sorted it out. Tonight he's told me he's not happy with the money situation I earn about 1k he earns about 1.6k a month he wants me to put 300 a month in the joint account and him 800 and then the rest is for our spends, at the minute most of the bills come from the joint account which just his wages go in and I rarely touch it unless the kids need it and I'm a bit short. I pay for all the food pet insurance 3 credit cards and the council tax on a house we are trying to sell from my account, I paid in full for the house we live in from an inheritance but it's 30/70 in our names as that's all he would agree too. We've lived here 10 months the sale on our old house fell through that should have sold a few weeks after we've moved.
He's now saying he wants his 30% of this house now, I've told him I wouldn't have to sell until youngest is 18 he's 8 now, he wasn't happy about this he's now saying he's going to sleep in the spare room until he can find some where else to live.

I'm not sure what to do now I don't want to live with him if were not together. I'm gutted that after 10 months in what was meant to be an amazing new start I could now lose 30% of it.i don't want to live here knowing that in 10 years I will have to sell it. I'm worried sick about the kids dd has just started secondary school is very sensitive and adores him I think it will really harm her.

OP - take a breath. It’ll be OK and kids will adjust to whatever changes come their way - you’ll just need to stay calm and communicate with them.

And next week you’ll need to go and see a solicitor to understand where you stand and what is what....
For starters - if you bought the current house while married - it’s a marital asset and is to be split at least 50/50... regardless of what your H convinced you of.
But - do get the proper advice, because it seems that your H is a bully and he’ll no doubt would try to manipulate the situation.

Good luck

The 30/70 split is in my favour

Basically you need to speak to a solicitor, before you give him any money. The marriage implies a 50:50 split but you would normally expect to get more due to the lower income.

Complications arise from the inheritance and if you have an agreement in place to share that or your assets 30:70 in your favour. There also seems to be another house in the picture.

I’m afraid I got lost in the detail of the household finances, I don’t get the equivalency in how you split stuff. His suggestion of a joint account for all the bills seemed reasonable and it was a reasonable split. Why are you objecting?

I think it will be a way to control me, I spent 37 in Primark at the weekend from the joint account on clothes for the kids and he keeps throwing it back in my face, he will have more money each month to spend but I think he will still expect me to buy everything for the children I said if we did it this way what happens when the children need shoes for example he said I should just buy them, things like fuel for my car I will be expected to pay for but I mainly use my car to ferry the children round. They way we do it now has worked for 13 years why change it now?