12 year age gap

[wintersnowflake]

I'm 38 dp is 51 , I have two young teens and he has a 17 yr old.

I haven't given the gap much thought until my youngest came home saying the kid at school said I was a gold digger! Which I'm not
What's bothering me .. am I holding him back ? When we plan things obviously I have my two to consider and it has to involve them when I have no child care but its different for him because his child has a part time job or is out with friends.. I keep thinking he's at a point in his life where he could go away for weekends, evenings out , nice holidays, yet I'm in the prime of supporting my children and having to be mum& dad to them , which I wouldn't have any other way. When I said I feel I'm holding him back he says he loves his life with me and is happy, can age gap relationships work??

This isn’t a huge age gap. And is quite doable. And in a few short years your kids will be older teenagers, so more things will be possible....

As to you being the gold digger.... Well, in this case he is a old geezer going for a trophy younger gf...
😂😂😂😂

Enjoy and relax.

Isn’t that big a gap really - same as me and my husband and I got called that too. Bizarre. My husband isn’t rich and we are comfortable (both work).

Thank you ladies , it's other bloody people and their remarks that play on my mind.
Thank you , your posts have helped 😊

11 years between my parents, they just rang in their 48th anniversary and are so far as I can tell, as happy as ever. I think the age gap doesn't matter one bit to them. It shouldn't to you either.

@Winter, my partner and I are 16 years apart (he is older like yours)
We are also from totally different ethnic backgrounds. I also (apparently) look younger than my age so we get an awful lot of looks and the odd comment. I know it must be difficult when the comment was made to your child but you and your partner in general seem happy (with the limited info you have posted) and somehow you have to not care what others think - easier said than done sometimes, I understand. Bottom line is that your partner has said he love his life with you - listen to him and like a previous poster says relax and enjoy! Xx

My DH is 11 years older than me and it has never been an issue. If your DP is loving life with you, I'm sure everything is fine.

When DH and I first got together, a few nasty people said negative things to us but we took no notice. I'd advise you to do the same. Best wishes to you both.

DH and I are the same age as you and your DH. We have a 12 and 10yo and I find your comments a bit bizarre re nights out, weekends away, nice holidays etc. Surely if yours are young teens you can do all those things now, we certainly do. I don't think it's a particularly big age gap.

Never been called a gold digger but then my DH is not rich so not much chance

That's his choice though.

He has had kids. He knows what that mean in terms of free time and he chooses to be with you.

He isn't being held back at all, but if he were he would be doing it to himself.

You've listened to what a spotty, snotty, voice-breaking, moody, 13 year old kid that knows Jack all about your life, or has any life experience in any way, said to your kid. The question is, why have you taken what a kid said and forgot in a moment, to heart? If it were me I'd just be grateful they didn't call me a MILF and wank thinking about me

Thank you all , your words have helped me and thank you to @subspace I'm sitting waiting to pic the kids up and giggling my arse off , yeah I guess I could be in the wank bank it could be worse, I just wish people would feck off and concentrate on their lives instead of nosing about others, I've had the odd remark made by friends saying 'he's punching' or 'sugar daddy' all in good humour but it does get you. I'm so happy with him , he appears happy with me and I absolutely adore him so I need to think ... bollox to people and spotty 13 yr olds with their remarks that more than likely come from their jk case mother. Anyhow thank you all you beautiful lot xx

38 and 51 is no difference at all, that's ridiculous.

I mean if you were 18 and he was 31 then maybe there would be some doubts (mainly just due to lack of life experience) but this is clearly just playground talk designed to wind up your youngest!

Same age gap here with DP. His DCs are adults, mine aren’t.

It’s less the age gap, more where we are at in our lives. We make it work. There are a lot of compromises (mainly on his part as I’m in the thick of parenthood). It is what it is.