Strained relationship with my mum

[pinkconverse]

I'm due to have a section in a few weeks. I already have an older child and a toddler who's still in nappies. DH is taking 10 days off work. My last section I recovered very well and fast. DH thinks I should ask my mum to come out to help me when he returns to work but I have a very strained relationship with her but not for the lack of trying. When I got engaged she suggested me and DH elope just the two of us because weddings aren't her thing. When I had my other children she criticized my decision to return to work because she was a stay at home mum. I booked tickets for the two of us to take her to show which had sold out and she turned up with my dad and then couldn't understand why he couldn't get a ticket at the box office. I plan to breastfeed again and she doesn't understand babies feed on demand. She seems uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeding told me I should feed ds loads before his baptism so I wouldn't have to feed him in front of everyone instead of being supportive she would make me feed ds in a bedroom when I'd visit her. I don't know what to do because DH made some valid points tonight about getting ds to school and trying to manage my toddler as well as dealing with a newborn and strongly suggest I get my mum out to help. What would you do? I've told DH there are plenty of women who have had sections and cope with their other children too. What would you do if you were me? Thanks

What do YOU want to do?

If your husband will be there you don't need your mother. I think all she will do is make you miserable in your own home.

The only reason he wants her there is to make things easier for HIM, because they certainly won't be easier for you.

I agree thanks everyone I think 10 days is more than enough to get me on my feet if my recovery is as good as last time which hopefully all going well it will be. We've already agreed he will take another week if needs be but we're hoping to keep the last week of his holidays for Christmas time when we can do stuff as a family and baby is a few weeks old.

Maybe ask your mum if she could be your back up plan, in a nice way of course! Prep her that you think it will be fine and plain sailing etc, but, would she be able to keep week 3 & 4 clear in case you need more support.