Meeting BF’s kids this weekend - advice please

[Chelsea26]

I separated from my husband in January and have been seeing my BF for 5 months now. All good and going well...

This weekend I’m meeting his daughters (14 & 12), he has been separated from their mum for 8 years and they have met a couple of his exes, they have a good relationship with him, they know about me and have said that they’re happy their dad is happy etc

But I’m shitting myself!!!

Never been in this situation before and would hate it if they didn’t like me!

I think I’m nice enough, have a job which involves lots of getting on with people, can be funny on occasion, not normally a knob but I don’t want to be too try hard, I don’t want to be too cool, I don’t know what to do?

I haven’t been around teenage girls in a long time, I have two little boys so no experience of daughters. Has anyone got any tips?

Keep it brief and leave earlier than you might normally. Just be yourself. Don’t say anything too mumsy. Don’t show affection between the two of you like holding hands or kissing. Ask them questions about stuff he’s told you, like their interest etc and be prepare to talk about this.

Word of warning - my teen girl experience was super positive to start, then hormones kicked in and she went a bit nuts. Teenagers have ups and downs.

Thank you - that’s good advice! He suggested I came over on Saturday night, stayed and we’d do something on Sunday but that seems a long time to me. I think i’ll just go over on Sunday.

I think just going over on Sunday would be best. Overnighting and breakfasting together might be ramming it down their throats!

It would be better if you can all do some activity together - even if it's just a cinema trip and meal afterwards, so you've a shared experience to talk about naturally. Obviously show interest in them and ask the things, but it's awkward if you're in an environment where you're obliged to talk and keep asking questions in case there's a silence. But be yourself, no need to take presents or anything, they just need time to get to know you, not bribing. If you do get told about their hobbies or interests show interest and let them talk. You'll be fine.

Thank you honeyroar - will speak tonight about shortening the visit. Think he’s planning on borough market which is quite cool, means we can wander and talk at the same time but with distractions!

I know one is really into film and the other is really into football and I like both of those so should be able to chat!

I’ll just let them lead and try not to look too scared! It doesn’t help that they’re both bigger than me already!

I think you should just be yourself. You can't force people to like you but if you try too hard you'll come across as fake.

Dps children were a lot younger when I met them and I was petrified but we all got on really well.

I would play the duration of the visit by ear. If it's awkward then have an excuse ready to leave but don't assume it will be too long. I think chilling in the evening after the day could give you the chance to get to know them in a less forced way if all goes well.

Good luck!

Hey - how did it go?!

Ah thank you for checking! It went really well actually. They’re really nice and they said they liked me so phew!

Our schedules are such that I probably won’t see them that often but it is nice to have got the first meeting under our belts