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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Honest Opinions....

52 replies

FFSakes · 04/10/2018 18:30

What would your honest opinion be on a 37 year old guy with no kids, lives in a rented 1 bedroom property, has had countless jobs, albeit well paid ones, but none that have lasted more than a couple of years and has had 3 relationships in his life, again lasting no more than a couple of years where the girl had ended every one of them, comes across as a bit of a lad...very muscular, into the gym, always goes on about how many girls “fancy” him.

Relationship material? Yay or Nay?

OP posts:
ImNotonLinkedInNo · 04/10/2018 20:06

eeeoooow, I'd tell him that you got turned off by the 150+ one night stands. It's basically like saying he'll sleep with whomever he gets the chance to sleep with. How does that make you feel?

itsbritneybiatches · 04/10/2018 20:08

Insecure - proving to you what a catch he is because so many people fancy him

Needs a good brutal talking to about bull shitting and how it's making him appear less attractive.

Loves himself.

Potentially I think he can grow up but you would need to smack his BS on the head and it would be a life long sentence of showing him his shit don't stink.

For everytime he tells you someone fancies him just laugh and go "yeah babe but look at me, totally punching above your weight love"

Teabay · 04/10/2018 20:28

I think he might possibly come out, when his mum has died.
All talk, many secret visits to gay masseurs.

Original poster
FFSakes · 04/10/2018 20:31

@teabay

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
Dontfeellikeamillenial · 04/10/2018 20:33

This guy is 37!?

Original poster
FFSakes · 04/10/2018 20:37

Yep - 37 😐

OP posts:
Teabay · 04/10/2018 20:46

@FFSakes

Honestly, there's not so queer as folk.

Teabay · 04/10/2018 20:46

Nowt, not not not not

Katgurl · 04/10/2018 21:54

Well he sounds insecure and very immature. If you're looking for a project then go for it as he could have potential... I would not have the patience though.

I would probably give him one chance after I nicely told him the banging on about other women was offputting. If it continued (as it most likely would) then I'd be off.

nellly · 04/10/2018 22:05

Oh
My goodness this could be my
Ex?! Is he in North London?
My advice would be avoid like that plague !

Ohyesiam · 04/10/2018 22:09

He sounds insecure, blinkered and self centred. I could add insensitive nd immature.
Not a catch.
( hope you said 150 divided by what?Grin)

eggncress · 04/10/2018 22:13

Only 3 relationships at that age( nothing wrong with that ) but also coupled with his constant bragging about women would suggest some kind of insecurity on his behalf .... a bit odd.
Surely if he was God’s Gift as he makes out, he’d have had lots of girlfriends Hmm
It would put me off and I wouldn’t even reply ... just leave it.

SoutineBellhop · 04/10/2018 22:15

OP, exactly what is it about this unclaimed treasure that you find appealing?

Renarde1975 · 04/10/2018 22:17

Oh dear. A Narcassist. A somatic one to boot. Totally unaware he is one. The bragging about other women is classic triangulation. When he does it, he's only doing it to observe your own reaction. The reaction is Narcissistic Supply or as H G Tudor puts it; fuel.

If you challenge him on this he gains more fuel as that's an emotional response. Bin. Dont respond and move on.

Best of luck OP.

Original poster
FFSakes · 04/10/2018 22:21

@Renarde1975

I love this response. And I think you are absolutely right.

I have ignored the text and don’t plan on replying.

OP posts:
saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 04/10/2018 22:29

I had typed a big counselling type response but I lost it. Can't take the time or effort to do it again so suffice to say- get him to the far side of fuck......Or....I look forward to reading your updates next year...and not in a good way

Renarde1975 · 05/10/2018 01:19

Yeh! Good work OP. Rooting for you!

Being v v cheeky BTW. Tell me to STFU if you must. [Grin]

He's good in bed, isn't he?

EarlyModernParent · 05/10/2018 01:25

Hmm. I think you have started seeing my personal trainer. Good trainer, good to have as a friend, terrible boyfriend. End it, leg it.

Original poster
FFSakes · 05/10/2018 06:59

@Renarde1975

He is...but not as good as he thinks 😉

OP posts:
Aaaahfuck · 05/10/2018 07:17

I think the jobs and renting are not red flags on their own. However alongside the other stuff it feels like he's just a bit immature. Underneath this he could be lovely. But I don't think many grown women could be arsed with him.

friio1983 · 05/10/2018 07:55

150+ one night stands? What's his secret?

Asking for a friend.

Original poster
FFSakes · 05/10/2018 08:03

@friio1983

His amazing chat. Apparently.

OP posts:
Ruddygreattiger2016 · 05/10/2018 08:14

No offence, op, but if you have slept with then the chat and bragging worked on you then.
Really hope you used condoms. Yuck.

Original poster
FFSakes · 05/10/2018 08:20

@ruddy

I’ve been seeing him a few months - he’s only just started the bragging. Had he done this in the first place, I’d have did what I’m doing now and walked away 🙄

OP posts:
Ruddygreattiger2016 · 05/10/2018 08:28

Good luck, op, but deffo get checked and block him.Flowers