Backstory to avoid a drip feed-within the last year, best friend (BF) has split from her ex, and moved away from our area to gain some distance from him. There have been several times in the last 12 months there have been issues which normally I would pick her up on, but as she has suffered with post natal depression, and has had a difficult relationship with her ex, I've not felt it appropriate to add pressure by telling here she has upset me as she is prone to blow things out of all proportion.
In recent months, however, she has met a new man and is keen to say how happy she is now. I've been dubious about this man-he has told her several lies about fundamental things in the first few weeks, and is being very controlling with her. I offered my advice to her regarding him, she chose not to take it-all good, she is a big girl and can get into a relationship with whomever she chooses, but after having been the sounding board for all the problems with her ex for the last few years, and most especially since she and he split, I don't have the emotional capacity to deal with any more drama, and because I've not been enthusiastic about him, she sees this as animosity towards his ethnic and religious background(absolutely not the case btw)
To add to this, I've made a new friend in the last year that I get on extremely well, who BF seems to be jealous of. I've been getting a few catty remarks about seeing new friend, as has new friend when she has bumped into BF around town. I haven't addressed this with BF as I consider it to be childish and unnecessary, so I didn't want to make a big deal of it.
Anyway-yesterday, I was due to meet BF after work, as she is off. We normally would meet regularly enough for coffee or lunch or a walk, but haven't been able to for some time. I finished work and hung around outside the office for her for about 15 minutes having text as usual, and then tried calling, but she was on another call. I wandered around a shop close by, trying to call her several times-but she was still on a call. Eventually I decided to go and sit in the car and listen to the radio. On the way out I met her ex and their child who was tired and cranky after a long day in creche. He mentioned something about her being too busy talking to her new boyfriend on her phone at handover, which I dismissed at the time as him being spiteful. I waited another while longer and headed home after 45 minutes total.
Two hours later, I see a whattsapp message on my screen saying that she had fallen asleep, and then had to go to the ex's house as their child hadn't stopped crying since they handed over (little one was fine when I met them) No mention of the call she had been on at time I had attempted to call her. I couldn't answer immediately as I had visitors, so she started calling within seconds of her text. I missed seven calls from her last night, and several more today, along with some melodramatic messages about me hating her, and her being a crap friend.
I'm at a point now that I know I'm going to explode at her if I reply today. If she had just sent one message explaining what had happened it would have been fine, but this drama and manufactured stress is making me so mad. Her latest message is "I get the message, you hate me and I won't bother you any more"-I'm in work!! I deal with the public and while I might read a message quickly from the corner of my eye, I have never answered one until I clock off, and she knows this! I really don't know what to do, how to answer her, and how to deal with her inevitable woe-is-me attitude.