This is something which has disturbed me for some time now and I would like to know what you ladies think.
DSis was with DP and had a DC. DSis and DP split up.
Within days DSis had a new man on the scene. None of the family knew him or had met him. This went on for some time but what we did notice was that DSis seemed to be losing friends, other mums with DCs about same age as her DC.
DSis said that Friend 1 was taking drugs and also was drinking too much on nights out. Friend 2 just seemed to disappear for unknown reasons. Friend 3 was a bit stressed over the stress around DSis. Friend 4 mentioned that DSis would panic about a certain matter. EX DP used to have the DC for visit EOW but this was stopped. The Ex was known to be very upset.
Eventually the new man was brought to visit our DM. He was a bit lacking in communication and drunk. He has visited DM 2 or 3 times always smelling of drink.
DM and me (and other people) were frequently at DSis house but after new man arrived we were discouraged from visiting and never invited. When there the odd time it was noticed that there were crates of lager and many spirits are openly sitting out. DSis never used to drink in front of family but does now.
We are aware that DSis has a lot of debs connected to household expenses. We know that there are debts to family members which were being paid back until the new man arrived. I heard that certain presents were given for an occasion but there were complaints that the presents were not enough and that something bigger was expected. An older relative was forced/heavily suggested to pay for this item.
DSis has run out of help from the family. She has expected too much from people so many times. She rarely if ever returns a favour.
As much as I am well aware that DSis is an adult and able to choose for herself, there is a feeling that she might be under coercion but this was discussed and a denial was made.
I am worried for DSis and her DC. Am I right in thinking that there is some isolating going on here? We think that DN (DSis's DC) is not happy with the new man. The child is not happy to be left with NM.
We are concerned that DN is being mistreated. We are aware that as all the friends and most of the family are not around the child now it could be the opening an abuser might like. We are worried that the child may think they have been deserted by family and friends or worse that people have left him because of his "accused" bad behaviour. DSis is adept at emotional bashings.
What should we do?