Feels no lonely, bf always at work and no friends.

[ariel28]

Does any other mum feel lonely? Last year I fell out with my closest friend and now my other friend won't speak to me and I don't know why? Bf always at work or at football or on his games console.

Constantly feel like I'm not worthy of peoples time. I love being a mum but some adult interaction would be nice and whenever I say these things to my bf he doesn't understand he just tells me life goes on and we are adults now so friends don't matter.

Don’t your colleagues at work speak to you, OP? I was widowed with babies, and would have been terribly isolated if I hadn’t had a good chat with the staff at work each day.

On top of all that my 19 month old won't sleep and is driving me insane being uncooperative .

HELP

Any gyms with a crèche near you OP? Events you can get out to, to meet other young mums? Cinema with 'bring baby' viewings?

Utilise MN & Google, look up everything you can, find something and get out there (even if you don't much feel like it at times).

It's shit when you lose friends but they're not the sum total of who you are. Make a new life and maybe new friendships for yourself along the way. Small steps. Not saying it's easy but, nothing ventured nothing gained.

I only work weekends and I cant afford to childcare and my colleagues are very nice people . If I talk to them about my personal life they tell me to get on with my work and are constantly belittling me. I'm only 23 and they make me feel like a child.

Look at local things to do in your area.
Most places have a local facebook page.
Sign up and ask on there.
Also check out meetup.com in your local area.
Do you have any family around you?

To be frank, your DP sounds like a pointless dick!
What do you get out of this relationship?

Do you work?
If not, then start looking.
Is he home in the evenings? At weekends?
You could do some bar work. I did that to get to know people locally. Works a treat. Just a Sunday lunchtime for me and know loads of people now.
None that are actual 'true friends' but I could certainly go out and meet up with people if I wanted to.

I have family around me but my mum lives abroad. I've been to baby groups before and tried talking to other mums but no one seems to make the effort back. I go to soft play once a week and try and go to the park 2/3 times a week too

Where in the country are you @ariel28

Manchester

And I also don't know how to deal with my stroppy toddler with out tearing my hair out she is just pushing every button of mine at the minute she won't listen she smacks me when I tell her no or cry's and screams and throws herself in the floor all because she's tired because she keeps waking up at 12:30 at night and not going back to sleep until 4am. So I'm exhausted, just don't know the best way to deal with all these emotions all at once 🤦‍♀️

I don't know what to suggest about sleep.
My DD is 20 and that long ago CIO was acceptable and recommended!!!!
Can you look at buying some books on how to deal with it all?
If you go to the parenting chat section people may be able to make some recommendations.

Part of the problem sounds like your lazy partner? What does he actually do?

Firstly your bf sounds useless. If you don't need friends then surely HE should be talking to you, not behaving like being a teenage boy.

Secondly you DO need friends. Have you tried anything like MUSH or mum Facebook groups and see if anyone local fancies a coffee or a play date?

What kind of work do you do op? Do you have break together? Could you go for a drink after work? Do you ask them about their lives or just unload all your stress?

DD is doing what is appropriate for her age unfortunately - basically being uncooperative and a pain in the bum. DP needs to be getting up with her on the nights when he isn't at work next day.
Dummy? Music on? Night light? Humidifier if she drinks a lot over night?
What happens if you go in, check she's OK and leave again?

Sorry you’re lonely. Don’t give up on meeting new people.

You’re not married, so unless you’re well off then working more should be a priority - your boyfriend’s salary will help pay for childcare!

Especially since he doesn’t sound great to say the least.

I love reading so will definitely look into some books to help with my nightmare toddler! And my partner gets up with her on the weekend if I am in work. I will have a look at Facebook mum groups as I've not thought of that. And I wouldn't say my partner doesn't do anything because he is very hands on with my DD he puts her to bed and baths her after work etc... but I do all the cleaning and cooking (which I don't mind as I quiet enjoy it) but I'd just like a bit more interaction off him for myself. But I feel selfish because he's been working all day so he should be able to chill and do what he wants so I let him but in the same breath when do I start being selfish and start thinking about myself ? Urgh I don't know what I'm supposed to feel anymore 🤦‍♀️ am I being selfish or just emotional for no reason. Idk 😐

The question is why does doing what he wants to do not involve spending any quality time with you

You DO need friends, they are important. It's a human need. Men are often a bit rubbish at knowing that, and are worst affected by loneliness if they don't have a partner, maybe it's that BS that he's communicating. Not true.

There are loads of ways Rio meet people and make friends. There must be a ton of mother and child or baby meet ups in your area. Facebook or Google searches are your friends. Try Meetup too, it's a good website.

Self care is not selfish.

Paid work is often easier than caring for a baby. Plus, by working he is investing in his personal future and earnings AND gets to be a parent whereas you have virtually no security. His is the far better deal financially.

Have you been into your local Children's Centre? Ask to speak to a member of staff. They will have suggestions to reduce your isolation and help you with parenting a toddler. Your HV will also have some ideas.

Do you drive? I suspect I'm local to you also with a toddler if you want to pm me

I've sent a pm

Op please tell your bf how lonely you're feeling. I was in a similar situation where my husband was absent from home most of the day and i was lonely with a child.

He needs to hear exactly how much it's affecting you. Evenings shouldbe family time. He should want to spend time with you and dd. Go for a walk as a family. Cook with bf. Chat about your day.
If he's always gaming at home
or out pursuing his hobbies that's really unfair on you.