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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh is CONSTANTLY feeling me up and I HATE it

5 replies

soannoying · 12/06/2007 19:14

We don't have sex very often atm (about three or four times since our youngest was born a year ago), due to tiredness and lack of interest on my part. Dh is very understanding about it, but what gets on my nerves is that he's constantly groping me (things like squeezing my bum or my breasts or similar), albeit in a friendly, sometimes jokey, manner. But I hate it! I've told him before, but he thinks it's positive, showing his desire for me and his love for me. I just want a hug every now and then, but dh is not very good on the non-sexual touching, which I miss. Also, dh thinks it's entirely normal to do this in front of the children, it's what he saw his dad doing, but my parents never did and I think it's inappropriate.

What does MN think?

OP posts:
Dawnybabe · 12/06/2007 19:16

Grab him very firmly by the balls and say you'll hurt him if he continues to go against your wishes.

singingmum · 12/06/2007 19:19

Bum squeezing ok in front of dc's but breast only discreetly so they don't see it.
However if you don't feel comfortable sit down and explain why to him.Also explain that although you feel v.happy that he still wants you sexually that sometimes you just need to feel his arms around you and protecting/making you feel special as though he is your whole world.Stroke his ego(all men have one)and allow him a certain amount of squeezing but within limits(ie. not in front of dc's).
Explain that for you a hug is an extra special way of showing you how much he wants to love you and take care of you.

dustystar · 12/06/2007 19:19

Dh used to do this to me (sometimes still does) although not in front of the children. We had several 'talks' about our sex life (or lack of it) and how I needed us to be close and intimate without it being sexual. The trouble was that because we didn't have sex often he grabbed whatever opportunity he could get and for me that meant that I didn't want to have a cuddle or a kiss as I knew he would want it to be sexy. I know he didn't understand really but things have definitely improved over the last few months. My sex drive is finally showing signs of life after a long long coma.

soannoying · 12/06/2007 19:53

I've just told him again and he's understanding but the thing is he tries to change but it doesn't last...

sigh

OP posts:
krib · 12/06/2007 19:58

Tell him if he stops the groping you'll increase the bedroom activity - that should definitely work !

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