In order to understand my predicament I have to explain my relationship: Five months ago I ended a verbally abusive relationship. It wasn't all bad we were together for 10 years in total, have a 4 year old son and an 18th month old daughter. When I got pregnant with my son, my ex started his business and started staying out late with the boys... he started to drink and do party drugs regularly. He was always a paranoid person which obviously got worse over the last 4 years, and as a result of working and partying non stop he got a temper, was a moody moody person, would lose his patience at every little thing, on his days off he would sleep all day on the couch and would moan if we made a noise, he never took me out but he gave me a lot of money to spend on the house, he never took our son out to the park or fun place because he was paranoid and the days they did go out he'd take him to his mums, he never helped with the kids but was really good at giving me 'advice' on how i should change them, dress them, feed them (he was worse than a nightmare mother in law). On top of this insanity he became verbally abusive, controlling and paranoid at every little thing i did. I've ended it many times during this last 4 years and took him back after he promised he would change - he would for a bit, but then it was back to walking on eggshells and having my guard up constantly in case he wanted to pick a fight. This time it's done for good, because I after a year of it being 'better' and me trying to understand he has addictions issues and help him for the sake of our kids- his abusive mouth returned and this time he thought he'd get away with trying to hit me. So I ended it because there was no way on this living earth my kids were going to witness that behaviour towards me. In fact, my son told my brother that daddy was bad to mama and that shook me so one morning instead of entertaining a fight with him, i told him i was going to my parents and that he needed to be gone by tomorrow morning. He begged, he pleaded and promised he would change but I said no. My ex is a character to say the least, he is narcissistic and immature, has a lot of unresolved mother issues and already has a son from a previous relationship who he doesn't see because his ex was so fed up of his aggressive stupid comments that one day she decided is he wants to see his son then he has to go through the courts to decide on terms and conditions- that was 7 years ago and he's not seen his son since. In the past every time we have split up he has stopped all contact with us which is perfectly alright with me; however, this time my son can talk and understands everything. He's been asking to see his dad constantly, I asked my GP what should i tell him and she told me to be as honest as i can considering he has witnessed a lot. He knows I asked his dad to leave and he understands to an extant why I did it, but he keeps wanting to see him. He says he misses him and why isn't he coming? So my question is what do i tell him? What do i say to a 4 year old who regardless of everything wants his dad? I want to tell him your dad is a selfish d'ck who wants me to beg him to be your life... if i contact my ex he will only be aggressive verbally annoying.