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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

bf makes insensitive jokes

12 replies

sabrina1234 · 02/10/2018 17:26

So I broke up with my boyfriend because he was treating me really bad and had cheated on me by messaging other girls inappropriate things. I decided to give him another chance and he was absolutely amazing with me but the thing is I was pushing him away despite his efforts to win me back, because I was scared that things would go back to the way it would. He was very abusive so obviously it's going to take a while. Things would get constantly brought up from the past in arguments and he'd say that's not a way to support him when he's changed and bringing up the fact he cheated on an argument where it's not related is hurtful which I get but he couldn't expect it not to come up either ever again.

Anyway long story short. We were discussing a trip to Glasgow where we couldn't decide properly on dates so I said I'll speak to him in person about it. Then he makes a really insensitive joke saying that he wishes he was with someone else and "bye I'm going to go look for a new girlfriend" which isn't nice considering he used to say things like that until he actually did cheat. He stopped doing it ever since I took him back but he's recently started making these insensitive jokes again which I've already told him how I've felt about it. When I confronted him about it he says that I'm too oversensitive and need to lighten up and take a joke. Which I thought to be very inconsiderate considering the past and I feel like its not allowing me to heal because he keeps making digs like this. At this point I feel ready to break up with him. I just don't think there's any hope left for us.

OP posts:
Artofpretending · 02/10/2018 17:30

I think you summed it up in your last sentence. He’s not joking and you’re not being sensitive. He is being cruel and trying to keep you on the back foot. Dump him once and for all.

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 02/10/2018 17:34

You should just reply “ yes I think that’s a marvellous idea since as you no longer have one, see ya”

AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/10/2018 17:41

Your mistake here was to give this person another chance at all in the first place. This is who he really is and he is not going to change.

Time to give him his marching orders and for good this time around. All he will do now is further mess with your head and boundaries. Raise your relationship bar a lot higher, you can do better than having this selfish individual at all in your life.

SandyY2K · 02/10/2018 22:48

He's an idiot and not deserving of a second chance.

IrishGryffindor · 02/10/2018 22:55

Girl youre not married and have no ties dumo him and go get a decent fella before you end up married

PickAChew · 02/10/2018 23:00

He's a grade A twat. He will never change.

DancingForTheDog · 02/10/2018 23:28

So he makes jokes about looking for a new girlfriend? OP have you ever heard the expression "many a true word spoken in jest"? You can do better for yourself, believe me.

Italiangreyhound · 03/10/2018 00:07

OP he doesn't care about you very much does he. Why are you wasting time with him?

"When I confronted him about it he says that I'm too oversensitive and need to lighten up and take a joke. "

You are not oversensitive and you do not need to accept this kind of treatment. Just say goodbye and next time you need to a expect a lot more from someone who wants to be with you. You are worth more.

CrazySheepLady · 03/10/2018 00:44

You were generous to give him a second chance. You've told him that these words and jibes upset you, yet he carries on, putting the blame on you by telling you to lighten up or take a joke. I don't think he really cares about you, OP. If it were me, I'd be wanting to find someone who did care about me and treated me with respect. I'd rather be alone than be with someone like your partner.

You want, and deserve, better and you know it. Get rid of this idiot and get out there looking for someone who deserves you.

MistressDeeCee · 03/10/2018 01:00

All this angst, for the sake of a stupid insensitive man who's basically telling you he is going to cheat again.

He doesn't even respect you.

He's not the last man standing in this world. Leave him and find someone else. No man is worth the stress.

I'm wondering how you can even find him physically or emotionally attractive, with his antics and the way he talks to you. I'd be like a turned off tap in the presence of a man like that

Thighofrelief · 03/10/2018 01:09

You are worth more than this knobcheese of a man. Pity his next poor gf and run.

Graphista · 03/10/2018 01:16

I'm struggling to think why you took this twat back in the first place!

Please dump, work on your self esteem and standards and do much better next time (which is NOT to say rush into another relationship).

Frankly he's doing what bullies do - making out hurtful comments are "humorous" when called on it!

To use an excellent glasgow phrase tell him to get tae fuck!

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