Online dating small rant indulgence please

[Mumteedum]

Oh ffs! I despair. You wade through endless pictures of men in bathrooms, men semi naked, holding fish, sticking their tongues out, using children to show how lovely they are , flicking the vs, lifting weights, leaning on someone else's sports car... Finally find a nice photo with a not too awful profile, muster the energy for a message... They reply and it's just dross!

"hey babes... You so beautiful! How can you be single?" vom

"you are vegetarian? Don't you eat any meat? " vom

"I don't have any baggage because my ex wife and kids moved away..." nice

Why am I bothering?

Thought I would rant away from the dating thread which is quite cheerful just now... God knows why! They can't live in my area!

this is the first time that I've been on mums net , a friend told me about it. I thought id check it out after feeling so down after a OLD nightmare. I actually find that some experiences are funny and all the same old stuff said by guys. However there are also the ones that hurt you really badly and thats what I have just experienced. There are some dangerous people out there . I have been left feeling so used , deceived and humiliated .

I'm sorry to hear that fayeloulou. Want to talk about it?

@GreenMeerkat nothing worse than "cute" im neither a kotten nor a child. A dont understand why men exspect grown women to swoon at it.

yes I think I do , is it ok just to post it all here ?
@Mumteedum

@Notquiteagandt I know. Nauseating isn't it?

@fayeloulouhall - It's probably better to start your own thread in the Relationships section so that your post can be found more easily.

Allow me to make you feel a little better about some of these

I'm married now but years ago I did a spot of online dating. The absolute worst one was a guy called Philip. Nice chap, good looking, normal profile

We had a date and it was nice but just boring. Talked a lot about visits to his grandma, and his passion for world war 2. I felt quite bored so didn't agree to a second date. Perfectly nice normal chap though ... or so I thought

Got home after the date and he sent me a message. It was a photo message. And the photo?

Him on all fours on his bedroom floor showing off his err ... bottom. The full enchilada if you get my drift. He'd clearly set his phone up on time delay and then got comfortably into position

I was absolutely astonished. He'd seemed so .... dull

Yeah pop your own thread up fayeloulou. We'll join you there. Keep this one for the daft horror stories

Minty... Just no... Words vom

Today's gems... On profile "James aged 45" in description "53 not 45!don't know why it says that." err because you typed it in? And you lied? Cos you want a younger woman even though you look 65?

Ok I’ll do it later - I started to write it earlier and thought Jesus what a mess !!! I feel so embarrassed but I also feel like I just need to get it out !

Ahhh Minty, you know what they say about the quiet ones. Maybe he got his grandma to take the photo :)

OMG Minty, I never had anything like that! My advice would be:

1. Look at lots and lots of profiles
2. send as many initial messages as you like
3. Be very selective about who you continue to talk to. If a message doesn't grip you or is a 'cut'n'paste' message then don't feel bad about sending a 'cut'n'paste' no thanks reply.
4. Don't chat for too long before meeting in person
5. In large cities you get a lot of 'players', who expect to 'date'. In rural areas it is more typical 'going out' or expecting to be exclusive quite soon.
6. If you really like someone in person let them know you are interested. I nearly lost out on DP as I told him I didn't mind if he dated other people (I didn't want to seem too keen, he thought it was a brush-off!!)

Thanks rigomorph. I think I am doing all of those but barely getting to the chat stage. I had two dates with same guy in summer which were OK (not in minty's league) but either see people I think look nice who never reply or send awful messages. (see above)

Several times I got disheartened, let it be for 6m or so, then came back to see if there were any more eligibles in my area! Was single for a few years overall (a few 'holiday flings' whilst travelling )

Went on a lunch date yesterday with a man who has a very respectable senior job. He is looking for a serious long term relationship, and was slightly OTT with texting before we met. On our way out of the restaurant, he asked me to join him in the toilets. I refused and he then sent me a dick pick from the toilet.

Omg sunshiny. What the fuck is wrong with them?

Or the guy who sat opposite me in a pub. He had his jacket on for the first ten mins and then casually took it off to reveal a t shirt with a big magnet on it and the words 'FANNY MAGNET' emblazoned across it

All you can do I think is just keep going with this. Meet lots of them and meet them quickly - no back and forth messages for weeks on end. Surely there's some normal
Ones out there!

I'm going to change my profile.. Sick of bossy men and I don't get any decent conversion anyway... "loads of baggage, mad ex, drama not of my making.. Want to meet an actual adult who might cope with real life and not just want to play with his motorbike"

I know I am simply off loading into the Internet ether here bit tonight's gem... Message from man claiming to be 40 with a blurred long shot photo of inspector morse lookalike, "hmm". I did not reply. Follow up message just now 'Your loss! "

I had a long, shite boring marriage with a man who though intelligent and great job/good dad (still is) preferred to play computer games than to be with me in the evenings. Life of the party if we had company, buggered off otherwise. I knew I shouldn’t have marrried him and wanted to cancel at the last minute. My mother talked me round, she was afraid of the embarrassment.

Long story short, much grieving, heartache. Eventually did OLD. Lots of frogs, one big misjudgedment from me...
But FINALLY I’ve met someone pretty wonderful. I can’t quite believe it, keep pinching myself.

It’s a long game....!

Ahhh good luck to you Molly. There sure are a lot of frogs!

Ive got a profile up at the moment. I have to say, given that i've only had 2 replies to the dozen or so messages i've sent, I'm keeping my initial messages pretty short, waste of time otherwise.
The 2 replies I did get were polite 'thanks but no thanks' - one of them said I looked lovely but he's found his match, but ....he keeps popping up in my 'recently online' search! Player or liar - either way, I'm going to block/hide him!

I cracked last night and set up a pof profile. Ugh. Will delete today. I've been quite generous with the age bracket (in either direction)... But the older ones are clearly lying about their age. And oh so fugly (which is a shame given my previous catwalk work in Milan ) - what's with the ghastly unflattering head shots from a down angle where they're on a pillow? Double vom although I did once read they take photos from under the jaw so it looks bigger and more manly.

Ugh.

I know it’s annoying when you’re getting messages from creeps or guys way older than you want but at least they're replying!

I’ve matched with 4 women on bumble so far, all ones that swiped first and not even a hello from any of them. Why do they bother swiping then? Equally, why write “don’t swipe if you won’t talk” in your profile ladies if you’re then not going to speak either?

I’m new to OLD but already fed up of it.