I haven't asked for advice on ending the relationship as its something i should have done 10 years.
Dp is at best indifferent, passive & uninterested in me or the dc.
I will try to explain why i need to end this relationship.
I do everything for the dc. Hes never been to the 3 younger dc schools. He went to our oldest dc school once in her last year. I have asked him to attend every meeting & event.
2 of our dc have medical needs. He hss never attended an appointment. At one very important appointment, he just didn't come & called me literally as i was driving to the appointment.
I had a MMC and he was supposed to drop tbe dc off ar school & come to the hospital. He didn't. I was all by myself & waited 3 hours for him to turn up...
He went back to work 3 days later. House was hideous & no food in the house.
When i had our last baby, he left the hospital about 40 minutes after i have birth so about 6am. He didn't need to. The older dc were bring cared for. He eventually picked me up at 6pm in the evening. I called him 4 times to see when he was coming back.
He works rotating shifts. He won't put his shift patterns on tbe calender so i never know when he finishes work.cam range from 1pm to 4pm.
He changed his annual leave without discussing or explaining why this year. It meant 1 dc & I couldn't go as i had already paid for camps for dc.
He has £40k in savings but I'm not supposed to know.
He gives me a set amount of money every month. Nothing more & nothing less ever. Hes never bought the dc anything other than an occasional Christmas or birthday present & thats only im recent years.
He never asks me anything about me. I ask him about his day, every day.
I went away to a country I've always wanted to go a few months ago, he didn't adk or acknowledge i had been away.
He never acknowledges if I'm ill. I have had 3 operations on my eyes in recent months. He asked me once if i was ok.
I went through the menopause last year. He never read any info i sent him or asked me how i was.
Dp has 1 friend. He makes anyone who comes to tbe house Including my adult dc who dont live her now, feel uncomfortable. None of my friends come here.
Dp has always been quiet & not very chatty but its got worse over the years.
He will not discuss anything. He won't have a conversation about our relationship. He just dismisses anything i bring up as by saying, he can't remember.
Why do i stay? Because he goes to work, doesn't drink often, smoke, take drugs, hit me or cheat.
I stay in this relationship for those reasons & out of duty. For the dc. Out of guilt. Because i will be looked down on for being a single parent. (I was a single parent when i met dp). Out of fear.
But its a waste of my life. I owe it to my dc to give them a better life & show them this is not normal or acceptable.
Yet im sick with anxiety. I have no family near. Few friends. No skills. No way of working but i still have to end this relationship.