Never been hurt like this before by him

[Mamabear141]

I don't usually post on her about my relationship but I just don't know what to do anymore.
I had my baby son 6 months ago now and ever since then me and my partner having been arguing nearly every night. In the beginning I just thought it was lack of sleep and stress of having a newborn why we bite each others heads off about things. Treating eachother more like enemies more than co parents. Lately we have been making conscious effort to spend more time together and have even talked about counselling.
But tonight everything changed, I said to him I was cold and could he get me the blanket but not the one off the bed he comes back with the one off the bed and I say I said can you not get that one cause I wanted that to stay upstairs, I wanted you to get me another one I just don't know where they are. He then says if you want something doing right so it yourself, to which I walked off and began to cry (I suffer with depression badly and sometimes can be quite sensitive, he knows this) he came after me and said can we talk I just waited for him to go so I could compose myself and then after a while followed him down stairs when he said can we talk I said yes of course and he then proceeded to say something that hurt me worse than anything else. He said I feel like you've fallen out of love with me and you are just going through the motion with me at the moment and have been for a long time you just treat me like your slave. I was so hurt by this never have I even thought for one second that I treated him like that. Also having a child was a very big deal for me I wanted to wait til I was married I am engaged but something happened in my family (don't really want to mention it) made me see how much I wanted a family member with him. He later said he feels that he has been felling like this for a year and a half much longer than my son has even been here, we have fought before but this has to be the most hurtful comment he has ever made to me.
I feel like when you have a baby you put everything into it blood sweat tears literally I feel so unappreciated for having a baby with him let alone trying to make our relationship work, is my relationship over or am I just blowing things out of proportion?

I agree with previous posters. But I also want to add that the fact that he wanted to talk about it is something positive to hold onto. A lot of people would just end it. Get yourself to your gp, explain how you feel, no judgement there, and you'll both feel a lot of relief I bet.

I don't think he was being a knob, you do sound like hard work and if that's the to depression then you should get yourself to your gp fast. He told you how he was feeling, he was being honest, that's not him being hurtful towards you, that's him letting you know he's not happy, but it sounds like he is hoping to work on things.
I'm not sure about the, "not feeling appreciated for having a baby" comment. I didn't expect my dp to appreciate me for having a baby, it's something we both chose, I didn't expect gratification.

It sounds like you're very focused on your needs and not listening or thinking of his. I also don't think he sounds like a knob, and I genuinely don't understand what the big deal was with the blanket.

I'd also ask if you're getting help for your depression, as well as thinking through what you ask of him, and how you treat him. His comment would indicate there is a back story here and the blanket thing from it being the wrong one to crying was not reasonable.

He told you how he feels, that you don't love him, and you made it all about you.

If I told a partner that I felt unloved and they turned it around to say that I've hurt them badly just by saying how I honestly feel, I'd consider leaving.

Being charitable, it could be depression or PND talking but regardless of reason, you're wrong.

I get that with a baby it's really hard to find the energy to make the other person feel appreciated.

I'd be hurt if I did something and got told off for unimportant details.

If you haven't fallen out of love with him, then instead of getting hurt by the responses here you could take it as a sign that your relationship can be saved. You need help with your depression (and being self-centered is a symptom of depression.) Then do the counselling.

He feels unloved and used and you can't see it from his point of view. Counselling can help with the communication.

Sounds like he's trying but this isn't good enough for you as you want everything done your way to the last grain. Like he said "if you want something done perfect, then do it yourself" that would avoid any of this hurt you're feeling.

Please see a doc before you drive him away.