starting to feel like myself a DECADE after EA exh

[marblesandconkers]

I hope it's alright to share this with all you lovely relationship people.
I'm just shocked about how all the put downs and all the fear and the aftermath of his gaslighting lasted as long after as the relationship itself.
Now I can see how he has and still uses dcs to try to gaslight me and manipulate, all this time later. Dcs are old enough to start to see him for who he is. I can see things clearly now and see what he's doing and done and that it will no longer work.
I wonder if anyone else has experienced similar. I feel like by writing it down there is a line in the sand and this is the start of the rest of my life. At last

Yup, I had 7 years of shite and about the same time again until I really felt my old self return.
I'm 3 years down the line from that now and still get a nice feeling at how normal life is sometimes

ah wow
been through it for 15 months
he wouldnt let me leave

now the freedom
my god best feeling ever
not having to factor the creep into my life ever again is a huge relief

Yes, it took about three years.
Then I recognised him for the gaslighting, narcissistic git that he was (and still is).
My dc are however in transition. One has now recognised him for what he is, the other one is getting there, without my prompting as I don't what them to have a bad relationship with their father. It's a tricky road to travel, but it sounds like you're getting there.
I've got most of 'me' back now, not all of it admittedly (as I know I'm still terribly afraid of making a man angry at me). I'm a lot happier with who I am now.

10 years of this, 4 years away from all the crazy making, still to this day it hurts, not in a love capacity, I just feel utterly conned out of giving my true love and compassion to someone who truly didn't love me at all, I was just a someone he needed for fuel and for show..
He still controls how much time he offers our DC, when he can be arsed!
Not now though, I'm in control, he can sing to my tune now, my divorce a few months back put me back in the driving seat, it feels a great place to be.
These people are parasites, Hoover every ounce of joy you have, Conn artists, gaslights, stonewalling, fearing for your safety and even once they leave you they continue to rent space in your head for free, as it takes a long time to recover from one sided loss of a love

Thanks for all the replies, to all of us who have been through this but also here's to life on the other side. Knowing we ARE okay and can have nice normal lives like you say stereo without someone constantly trying to bring us down.