Anxiety/overthinking destroying my relationship

[justlikeawoman1234]

Sorry don’t know if this is the right place to post this.

I’m desperate for help with this! Basically my overthinking is destroying my relationship and pretty much my life! I constantly worry if I’ve offended or upset anyone, I don’t want people to think I’m a nasty person or hurt their feelings

It comes from a good place but it’s literally destroying my life. I end up hurting people and especially those I love. I’m constantly on edge. I hate the thought of hurting anyone’s feelings.

I’ve been to the gp and since had 1 therapy session which tbh didn’t go so well. I just don’t think we clicked but because I don’t want to offend anyone I darent mention this. It’s a constant cycle which I can’t see getting better even though I want to. She’s left me 2 messages which I’ve avoided like a child.

I don’t know how to change. I don’t want to be constantly on edge or worrying if I’ve upset someone but I cant go on like this. Part of me thinks that’d I’d rather have a good heart and know my intentions are good, another part of my thinks I need to relax and let go a bit.

I honestly don’t know where to go from here. I would appreciate anyone’s perspective on this. Has anyone learned a happy medium? Overcame this?

It might be worth trying some medication to calm you a bit as well as the counselling, I had medication for anxiety when pretty much everything felt impossible.

Did you pay privately for the counsellor? I am sure they are used to clients seeing if they are a good fit.

Thank you. I don’t pay privately, I know I’m lucky that I’m even being seen at all which is why I don’t want to rock the boat although after avoiding 2 voicemails I’m sure I already have 😔

Did medication help you? I know it’s different for everyone but I’m always so cautious of using medication for some reason.

Anti depressants have been discussed before but I’m worried about becoming reliant on them. I know it’s all in my head and if I work hard enough I can overcome it.

Is there a way you can text or email the councillor? I promise you they won't mind you saying something brief like, 'Thanks for our session, but I'd like to try another councillor for a better fit for me right now. All the very best.'

Professional councillors know it's a two-way street, honest.

I actually could written the op myself. I have been on sertraline before but it made me not feel anything at all which seemed just as bad .

I don’t her her direct number but there’s another person I see before my next therapy session who I could ask for advice. I feel like I click with this person so much more but she’s not necessarily a trained therapist and her job role is something else 😔 I must sounds like such hard work.

@pickledolive have you received counselling or therapy? I just can’t see this ever going. It’s impacting my life so much.

What makes it so much more frustrating is that it comes from a good place. I sometimes wish I could be someone who doesn’t take things to heart so much and who doesn’t care what people think.

I do care what people think and I don’t know why. I do things and my dp questions it and most of the time he’s right. I just hate the thought of thinking I’ve offended or upset anyone. I put myself last to avoid anyone else feeling left out, I then end up getting hurt and upset as they don’t do the same for me.

This happens constantly. It’s like I create drama and issues out of nothing. I genuinely don’t mean to

Hi no unfortunately not apparently I wasn't bad enough for that according to me gp. It drives me crackers feeling that I have to try and be the perfect person all the time trying to make sure everyone's happy and ok. Constantly thinking I've done something wrong or upset some one. My partner doesn't try to understand he just thinks I'm difficult. Just never feel good enough no matter how hard I try. Do you find it difficult to let your guard down and just enjoy things like other seem to do so easily?

I’m the same - I’m seeing a therapist for my anxiety and I’m about 10 sessions in. It’s a long road ahead but I feel I am getting better. I’m able to tell myself to stop. To making things more than what they are. Stop assuming I’ve offended someone. Stop questioning if so and so likes me, and if not why not. I would carry on with the therapist op - can you ask for another?

I started taking kalms today has anyone got any experience if they work at all?

Oh I know how you feel..so debilitating. xx

Please message the counsellor and try to go back. They are there to help you and you aren’t going to get better by not doing anything.

I had suffered from terrible anxiety since childhood. I waited until I was in my 40s to go to the Dr and was given Citrolpram (an antidepressant) and also cbt. The cbt was a bit rubbish to be honest but the drugs were fantastic and made me so much better.
I also went and got some private counselling from someone who specialises in understanding childhood issues, which also helped enormously.

My only regret is not going to the Dr earlier.

Well I have made contact and have a session booked in next week. It was only because I saw the other women who I get along with, she had already booked me in and told me not to worry.

@pickledolive I really think you should go back to the gp. I had been roughly 5 times before I was taken seriously, I broke down. It shouldn’t have to come to that but you deserve the support.

@puzzledlady apparently my therapist is really nice, she just needs time to get to know her patients. I know how lucky I am to be getting help so I’m just going to open with her. I’m so happy it’s working for you, hope I will get there someday.

@lizziesiddal I’m so happy it seems to be working for you. I’ve always been really worried about taking anti depressants, I worry about taking paracetamol. I know that sounds stupid but I do.

I have another session next week, I am going to keep at this. I want to change. In a way I’m glad that I care what people think as it means I care about their feelings and don’t want to upset anyone, I just wish it wasn’t so intense