Advice please - don't know if over-reacting or not

[meandmygirl1]

Been seeing DP for 18 months and we get on very well. We both have separate homes and my DD aged 13 lives with me.

His family live about 4 hours away from where he lives and he doesn't have a lot of close friends nearby.

Whenever his family or friends visit, he doesn't include me or dd - he has to be asked; and he has cancelled long standing plans we have had if his family are up.

This weekend we were supposed to meet up with him, his father and his niece so my dd and his niece could go clothes shopping. He cancelled at last minute and said instead he would drop in to see us at our home around dinner time - intimation being that I would make dinner for them all!!!

I said no. And he has been sulking since. And says he has done nothing wrong.

I think if we are a couple, part of that is including each other with family events etc. However, I am beginning to feel that I am only good enough when his family or friends are not around

What reason did he give for cancelling the original plan?

Yanbu! Why did he cancel and why doesn't he invite you round for dinner??

He didn't give a reason for cancelling - he acted like it hadn't been organised. Like we hadn't talked about it.

I don't think you are over-reacting at all, if nothing else it is not fair on your DD to have her plans cancelled with a potential new friend. It sounds as if he's got something at the back of his mind as to why you aren't becoming more involved with his family. Cards on the table time - ask him what is going on and if it isn't a proper answer, or a crappy one, cool things off.

We are all supposed to be going on holiday next week for first time. I would rather just go me and my DD if this doesn't get sorted and I am happy with his reasons

I think that needs to be part of the conversation too - I wouldn't want to be spending precious family time, money and holiday memories with someone who fobs me off and cancels plans when it comes to his family.

If no reason was given for the cancellation then I don’t think you’re being unreasonable for being annoyed. Could it possibly be his family don’t want to meet you and he feels a bit stuck in the middle? That’s probably the best case scenario, but even then he’s being a bit weak.

I can’t stand that type of flakey behaviour. And he had a cheek hinting at you cooking.
I would be fuming.

Suggest you will have the kitchen cleared so he can make whatever he wants for everyone's lunch. And mean it.

Why couldn't he cook for them all and invite you two there, too?

I don't like him, OP, sorry!

Yes my friends in real life saying exactly the same. I will not be getting in contact with him. I am quite happy to go on holiday without him as well.