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Original poster

Household sleeping arrangements

24 replies

denialhuh · 30/09/2018 18:18

Quick one as it’s a pressing problem!

DH and I are in the process of breaking up. It’s not especially amicable.

He’s slept in DS’s room the past few nights but says he’s coming back to his own bed tonight, ie with me.

I don’t want to! All else aside, he falls asleep with the laptop on and stays awake until all hours.

DS’s room has a bunk bed, DD’s room has a kiddy bed (too small for adults).

What do we do, what should I suggest? (I instigated the breakup as he does fuck all but he wants to stay as we are. I don’t and frankly I hate him right now.)

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 30/09/2018 18:19

Why can’t he sleep on the sofa?

LuluBellaBlue · 30/09/2018 18:20

Sleep on the sofa? Take it in turns to sleep in the main bedroom?

TheOneWith · 30/09/2018 18:20

You’ll have to sleep on the sofa or your DS bunk bed.

Or go out tomorrow and buy an air bed or camp bed and sleep in one of the kids rooms or downstairs.

JamAtkins · 30/09/2018 18:23

Put the kids in the bunks and get a single in dds room?

Original poster
denialhuh · 30/09/2018 18:23

He’ll refuse to sleep on the sofa.

Yes that’s what I thought: I’ll have to be the one to make all accommodations.

I’m so fed up Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
denialhuh · 30/09/2018 18:23

Thanks for answers though!

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 30/09/2018 18:24

Does he have family/friends nearby he can stay with?

It sounds like a proper crap situation OP I feel for you.

JamAtkins · 30/09/2018 18:25

I was thinking you could do that quite quickly/cheaply on gumtree etc but it would be a pita to move a single bed with no help. Are you going to be living together until the house is sold?

Original poster
denialhuh · 30/09/2018 18:27

He refuses to leave so that’s an ongoing issue (and another story). I’m just sick of his grumpy self around the place. But anyway.... seems like I just have to make the best of it for tonight.

I can’t sleep next to him, I hate him right now. Ah well.

OP posts:
Foodylicious · 30/09/2018 18:29

Definitely sofa or DS bedroom for you tonight.
Do not let him think things can just carry on.
Tell him it will be alternate nights in your bed then.

How long till he can move out?
Is there no one he can stay with?

YeTalkShiteHen · 30/09/2018 18:30

Is he on the tenancy/deeds for the house?

Original poster
denialhuh · 30/09/2018 18:32

He can’t move out anyway as he has no money and no job (and no interest in getting one)!!

But yes I guess it’s the bunk bed for me, he’ll just want things to go back to how they were otherwise.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 30/09/2018 18:40

Can you put pillows between the two of you?

gamerchick · 30/09/2018 18:44

You'll have to sleep elsewhere for the minute. It's not ideal but otherwise he'll think things are getting back to normal.

What's the score about getting him out.. who's house is it, what's finances like etc? You need a plan.

Blackladybug · 30/09/2018 18:48

Definitely sleep apart. And yes to what PP said, you need a plan, is there anyway we can help? Is the house jointly owned? Or rented and in whose names?

sparklepops123 · 30/09/2018 18:51

Yh he'll think if you're up to sharing a bed your not serious about break up. Let him rot in your bed ( ie: don't go in there to clean etc) once he's gone give the room a makeover and make it yours again

Sallygoroundthemoon · 30/09/2018 18:54

Your choice to split, you sleep elsewhere I'm afraid. Whatever he has or hasn't done it isn't really fair to kick him out of the main bed when it's your decision.

dancingintherain1111 · 30/09/2018 18:58

I slept on the sofa until my stbxh moved out as I couldn't be arsed listening to him complaining about it. Not saying it's right though just sometimes you need to suck it up in the short term.

Pinkprincess1978 · 30/09/2018 19:06

I'm not says in anyway you are wrong to want to split as I'm sure you have very valid reasons but... YOU want the split not him so you should be the one to sleep somewhere else not him. Sorry probably not the answer you want but there you go.

Mum4Fergus · 30/09/2018 19:12

Can DCs share a room in the short term?

Original poster
denialhuh · 30/09/2018 19:29

I really do appreciate all responses, I don’t just want to be told I’m 100% in the right when I’m not Smile

After a long discussion with the children (both of whom wanted to sleep with me) it was agreed that I’d sleep in my bed. So, it’s sorted for tonight.

I’ll have to suck it up and discuss it with him seriously tomorrow, but at least we can all relax for now. I love sleeping with the children and having them close by so it’s a real treat.

OP posts:
Original poster
denialhuh · 30/09/2018 19:33

Will be making a plan this week. First just struggling a bit and feeling rubbish! Waiting for him to accept reality but that may never happen so hey ho. It all seems impossible right now but people split up all the time and make it out the other side so I’m sure I can too. There is no violence or deliberate abuse involved so we’ll be ok eventually.

OP posts:
Cachailleacha · 30/09/2018 19:48

After tonight, could you could just move the spare single mattress to the sitting room, so the kids have their own space?

Original poster
denialhuh · 30/09/2018 19:55

I could but believe it or not they prefer to share! I sometimes go to DS’s room when I can’t sleep and he loves that.

OP posts:
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