How to spot a catfish

[EvaPerron]

Hi! Looking for help an your experiences of this. After five years of being a nun full time single mum, I have decided that it's time to dip my toe in the waters of internet dating. I believe that on lesbian dating sites there can be a few men pretending to be women. Just wondered, are there red flags I should look out for? Any advice welcomed. I spoke to a woman today who's really really attractive but keen to get my phone number straight away....., red flag??? thank you!

I'd think getting your number quickly is less likely to be a catfish, especially a male one. Ask to video chat to make sure

Red flag if she doesn't take no for an answer.

When I was online dating I always wanted to meet up ASAP because I don't find chatting to someone online to be the same as chatting to someone in real life. Maybe this woman finds the same. I'm not sure why'd you think that's a red flag.

When online dating I found that some people have no intention of meeting up. They like the validation of someone liking their profile and chatting to them but it will never go any further. I had one like this that had a good looking photo and was very flirty but not sleazy, however he wouldn't meet up, or add me on Facebook. So either a catfish or already in a relationship, or didn't actually like me that me much.

Chatting on the phone and then meeting up means no one is hiding behind a computer screen anymore.

I think it makes them less likely to be a catfish. You can add them on WhatsApp and see if they add up, that way. I met my husband online and we exchanged numbers straight away, he seemed genuine and nice so we spoke on the phone and it confirmed everything for me.
There are catfishes but they are usually easy to spot, they're the ones with fake looking pictures off the internet and the profiles either have nothing written in them or they are long and over the top.

It's definitely true that men hang out on dating sites pretending to be women. I know because my best friends boyfriend did it.

She caught him on dating sites, so he hid as a woman looking for a woman. She found him again. And dumped his ass. Not just for the betrayal but it made her sick that he was duping other women like that.

Exchanging numbers and talking seems a good way to prove it's a woman. But you also have to remember that just because it's a woman, it doesn't mean everything they say is true. Still have your wits about you.

Good luck

Thanks! Woman in question liked my profile, contacted me, told me she really really liked me, asked several times for my number then disappeared or blocked me within the space of an hour. I think that's a red flag, right?

@Notacluewhatthisis
What a shit!! Glad she dumped him.
Thanks everybody for your replies!

Yes that's a red flag after your update. Maybe it was a catfish then, or just someone really odd. The internet opens you up to a lot of different types of people and some will be strange. Don't worry about it and hopefully you'll meet someone nice and genuine soon.

She didn't know you well enough to know whether she really, really liked you! Did she disappear after she had your number, or before?

@HollowTalk she disappeared after she'd asked for my number but she hadn't got it. I hadn't said no, was just having a think (15/20 minutes) then she disappeared.

Later decided giving my number out would be ok so connected with another person on WhatsApp, she promptly sent me a picture of herself in a nightie and asked me to send one back

Am having a bit of an internet dating adventure today

Blimey! I didn't think it would be like that if you were gay! For some reason I thought it was only men who sent off half-dressed photos of themselves.

An exciting adventure, OP!

The first woman sounds very odd/dodgy, and good that your instincts picked it up.

I think anyone who tries to push you to go quicker than you want is best avoided. You may want to just message on the site initially, and see how you get on, see if there's a spark, before giving your number.

I would also suggest video calling once you are comfortable, so you can see who they really are and if they look anything like their profile picture.

Also be wary of someone who doesn't ever want to talk, and prefers messaging (unlesd they have a genuine reason for not using a phone / video chat). Someone who is already attached might find it difficult to make discreet phone calls!

Bear in mind too that someone who sounds too good to be true is maybe best avoided until you discover if everything they tell you is actually true.

Look forward to hearing more of your adventures, good luck!

Reverse image search their profile picture

When i was on pof there was loads of messages i got from "women" whom you could tell were actually very pervy men. Be careful one "woman" who messaged me was clearly a paedophile when i went to block their profile had vanished so someone else must have reported first. Exchanging numbers quickly is usually a good sign.