How to reconnect after time apart

[Misty9]

Dh has been away for over a week and I've been holding the fort with 2 dc under 7. And I've thrived I've loved being in control (the kitchen stays tidy, things stay how I leave them) and it's been nice to spend time with the dc alone as dh can take over a bit.

Now he's back and I just feel...out of sorts. It's not been a joyful reunion, not helped by ds being a pain today (probably because there was a change in dh coming back) and me being in a bad mood.

How do others feel when reunited after time apart? For context, dh works from home and rarely goes away - so we usually spend lots of way too much time together. I didn't really miss him either- is that normal?

It's not a great sign. Sounds like you and DC were happier without his presence?

Maybe you feel resentful about his trip?
Or when you say he takes over do you mean he's controlling?

My ex used to work away alternate weeks and I grew to love the autonomy of him being gone for all the reasons you mention. Eventually we divorced and my house is still a calmer, happier, more organised place. And I am yet to miss him and it's been five years . Not sure what advice to give but it sounds like you've got a lot to think about!

The kids missed him but we all got on with it. He’s not controlling as such, just very focused on the kids so I struggle to get a look in sometimes and it’s easy to stay in the background. Yes, lots to think about - we’re having counselling and have been close to separating recently :(

I went away for 3 weeks and didn't miss my partner at all, but I don't think it's a bad sign. We spend lots of time together, I enjoyed being on my own but doesn't mean I want it all the time. I think if you're already having other issues though it may be a sign single life would make you happier?

Different dynamics as our children are grown and we've retired, but I recently returned after spending two weeks with my sister who lives by herself in a home that is quiet, peaceful, and decorated in a female-centric way. Not all frills and chintz, but def with a female vibe.

Anyway, we had a lovely time doing and eating what we wanted and spending time together quietly doing nothing. I didn't miss DH one bit. When I got home I have to admit to feeling edgy and easily irritated with him, mostly because my sister's house is so quiet and peaceful and DH is, well, big and boisterous and a bit of a mess maker. But I soon got back into routine, the edginess faded away, and I realized that it was me, not him.

Give yourself some time. I think what you feel is perfectly normal.

I only stayed married to my ex for so long because he worked away during the week. I basically smiled through gritted teeth when he was around.

One week isn't long. I THINK You know it is symptomatic of something bigger by your comment of him being childcentric and not paying attention to you.

Explore that.