Meeting partner's children

[littlepotatoes]

I’m due to meet my partners children, both girls aged 11 and 15. I am so unbelievably nervous! Seems so long since I was this age, and I don’t know much about teenage girls and what they like. I don’t know what to talk about. I’m sure I’m massively over thinking this, and will probably come across as a complete idiot.

Would you lovely lot please give me some tips? I really want to make a good impression

Oh bless you!!

My only tip is don’t try too hard! That’s the ultimate sin when meeting teens/pre-teens.

If you’ve got much older kids their world is very different nowadays, they maybe spend time watching stuff on YouTube rather than watching TV.

I would not necessarily expect the 15yr old to say much!

Are you going round or going out?

You’ll all be nervous to don’t expect too much. Hope it goes ok!

Just be yourself and don't over do it. Maybe make sure first time is not too long. But as said 15 is a tricky age so she could be sullen or spend her time looking at her phone. None of those things would be a reflection of you. Remember they may be nervous too. Hope it goes well.

Don't criticise or seek to compete with their mother.

Thank you. I was less nervous than this when I met their dad!

Oh I agree, OP, it’s way more nerve-wracking!

When are you meeting and when is the meet?

• where

It’s next weekend and was planned to be at their house, but I’m wondering if neutral territory might be better? And probably something that isn’t time defined, like a drink at a cafe, rather than going out for a meal, so it can be as long or short as needed? Does that sound sensible? Or do you think it would be better at the house where they’re more comfortable.

Just to be clear, they are quite keen to meet me, they don’t appear to be hostile or upset that I’m seeing their dad according to DP

Meeting in a cafe is a good idea. Just relax, be yourself, don't ask about school, maybe ask about what music/bands/youtubers they like. The 11yo is probably going to be easier to get on with than the 15yo, but if you can channel your inner teen, you never know. Good luck!

definitely meet at their house - meeting an adult at a cafe is about as far away from what a teenage girl/pre-teen wants to be doing as it can get and it will just be massively awkward whereas at home they can dart off to their room if they need space from it.

Listen to Capital FM and Kiss for the next week.
You'll be grand!!! :)

Eek, I imagine meeting at a cafe could unnecessarily make it a big deal. Teens going out in public with grown ups is often deeply unpopular! Of course it depends on the kids though.... some will go anywhere for a caramel frappé!

I would say much better to meet at their house, have a cup of tea, they are free to hang as little (say ‘hi’ then go up to room) or as long (sit and chat a bit) as they like.

Low key is the name of the game in my books.

Thank you all, I’ll come back and let you know how it goes!

Sorry for the late check back. I went round to the house to meet them and they were absolutely lovely.
I had a really nice evening and managed not to embarrass myself 😆
Such a weight off my mind! Thank you all xx

Brilliant!