When to move in together?!

[boxx14]

I’ve been with my boyfriend since November. I have a 4 year old from a previous relationship. In June I found out I was pregnant... major shock as I have a coil fitted, so off we go for a scan to see where my coil is and ensure baby is ok. Turns out I’m 20 weeks 😐 #shit! I’m due in 4 weeks time, I currently live with my parents as before I met my boyfriend I was saving up to buy a house by myself as I split from ex. I’ve just gone onto maternity leave, and boyfriend has asked if me and my son would like to move in with him. But is there ever a right time to move in with someone?

Wow, congratulations! I'd be cautious of moving in so soon especially with your 4yo. Perhaps best to stay with your folks until after baby is born and then for a few months. Your partners support during that time will show you where the relationship could potentially go...good luck.

I agree with Mum4Fergus how your new partner is after the birth will tell you if he is right for you.

Due to having a 4yo it’s best if you assess this while staying put. Minimal disruption for your 4yo should be the priority, especially with a new sibling arriving.

I can understand you may be tempted to move in as pregnancy is a vulnerable time, I would be VERY tempted for just this reason. But this next phase will show his true worth and it’s wise to keep assessing right now.

Oh it wouldn’t be until baby is born, I couldn’t deal with the stress of moving and giving birth in 4 weeks time... I’d probably end up in labour because of the stress, lol.

But it's a lot for your four yr old - new baby and then moving, new house and stepdad. It's a Lot.

What about your and your dc's security? If it didn't work out, then back to your parents again? What will happen to saving for your own place?

I think it's probably very tempting to dive in and create a picture-perfect instant family unit, but I'd spend more time developing the relationship and getting to know each other more.

I agree with others. Stay were you are and ask your boyfriend to provide some financial support for his child. Do not live off your savings.

If you start to discuss living together then find out what that means. How will he support you on maternity leave? Does he expect you to live off your savings, eroding your deposit and potential independence? Would he be making you a co tenant or adding you to the deeds and mortgage?

I hate to burst romantic bubbles but...Asking you to move in means he avoids paying child maintenance and if he gets you to live off your savings then he is quids in. Whatever you do keep the nest egg. If he wants you to move in then you both live off his income and your maternity pay not the savings.

Personally stay put and ask for child support. Then see how he behaves as a responsible father.