Can’t stop the jealousy after being left for another woman

[Dwelling]

Back in February my partner of a year left me without warning for another woman, I had suspected they were close for a few months but he always talked his way out of it. Days after he left, he publicised his new partner on Facebook and introduced her to friends and family.

They’re still together and I’ve heard on the grapevine that he has proposed. It’s totally knocked me back again. I can’t stop the jealousy that she has the life I wanted and feel inadequate. Despite him being a scumbag, I miss him.

This is totally normal! Don't beat yourself up it just a process and it takes time. Have you got friends in RL to talk to and distract yourself?

Oh god that’s awful for you. It’s just time. Is there a way you can avoid hearing things about them? This happened to me, they ended up marrying, which was years later but it still bloody hurt.
Xx

It’s so difficult as they live near my parents and whenever I visit I have to drive past seeing his car outside her house. I’d got over it to a certain extent but I feel sick now everytime I think of him moving on with his life and so happy. Just a horrible I wasn’t enough for him feeling. I loved him so much and knowing he walked out with no explanation hurts.

www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201411/let-it-go

article for you to read, i found it helpful, but haven't quite finished the process, but getting there - good luck

It is normal to feel this way.
Time is a great healer though and one day you will no m never feel this way.
Be kind to yourself and make sure you surround yourself with positive people.

Been there, done that. EXH left for one of my "friends" and proclaimed her on Facebook about three days later, even before a lot of our friends knew what was going on. It cemented what an utter twat he is and made it very easy to detach myself from the wreckage of my marriage. But - she stole my financial security and that was very hard to swallow.

Hope you can get your head around it. Sorry.

I’m annoyed with myself for feeling jealous. I spent so long trying to get some commitment and he’s offered everything to her on a plate.

You are allowed to feel jealous.
But you also need to take a long hard look at yourself, not in a negative way. But why did you allow this man to treat you like this? And I can be as certain as day is night that he/she aren’t just going to walk off into the sunset and be happy ever after.

In my case they got divorced 5 years later.

But you DO NOT want to end up in a situation like this again, so look to the future and how you want a relationship to be, rather than making by someone give you commitment. It shouldn’t be that hard.
And I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s a fucking lucky escape for you:

Have you read the amount of threads on here of people who have ended up married with children and mortgages and trapped in their awful lives.
You have freedom from this.
Take that as your (currently) only positive and run with it.

"But why did you allow this man to treat you like this?"

What does that mean? He walked out 'without warning' so op didn't allow him to do anything.

I spent so long trying to get some commitment and he’s offered everything to her on a plate

That’s what holding means

The warning signs were there. He wouldn’t commit.

Mong ?

Seriously. Please choose a less offensive term for the woman your arsehole of an ex chose to cheat on you with.

Apols yes that was insensitive !