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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confused by my feelings

4 replies

zobo90 · 29/09/2018 07:53

So following from my other threads... I have now left my abusive boyfriend of 8 years. Never in my life have I felt so low about myself throughout the whole of the relationship. My reason for posting is that I feel absolute fine????? I just feel guilt as he is really trying.

We have broken up before when we were 18; we had been together only 8 months at this point. He went on an absolute rampage shagging any girl who talked to him which absolutely devastated me. I tried to take my own life as I was in a very dark place.

At the start, back then, I felt fine too so I've always been fearful that he would do the same and I would go back into that dark place again. Although I would assume that he would have a little bit more respect for me as we have a 4 YO.

I've always felt immense guilt at finishing it when we were 18 and he even admitted a few weeks ago that the way he acts towards me is because of the fact I finished him and showed him I didn't care about him, when in reality I have always idolised him and kind of placed him on a pedestal.

Sorry I just really needed to let this out. It works as a sort of therapy for me to write everything down. Is it normal to feel this way? He has been my life and future for so long. I really don't want to come crashing down.

OP posts:
PassiveAgressiveQueen · 29/09/2018 07:59

If he really was treating you bad because of the split HE WOULD LEAVE YOU not trat you badly.

He abuses you. BECAUSE HE ENJOYS IT.

zobo90 · 29/09/2018 08:19

@PassiveAgressiveQueen I just feel happy and free... not what a usual break up consists of. Just frightened this feeling won't last and I will feel intense pain after x

OP posts:
zobo90 · 29/09/2018 09:04

Anyone?? Could really use the advice xx

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 29/09/2018 11:12

He punished you for EIGHT YEARS because you dumped him as a teenager? Fucked hell that man holds a grudge! So his over riding rational for EIGHT YEARS was revenge? That's scary obsessive and rather self harming.

You might dip from the euphoria for a bit. But recognise it as a temporary blip that will end. Then you will get back to happy. And free.

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