So following from my other threads... I have now left my abusive boyfriend of 8 years. Never in my life have I felt so low about myself throughout the whole of the relationship. My reason for posting is that I feel absolute fine????? I just feel guilt as he is really trying.
We have broken up before when we were 18; we had been together only 8 months at this point. He went on an absolute rampage shagging any girl who talked to him which absolutely devastated me. I tried to take my own life as I was in a very dark place.
At the start, back then, I felt fine too so I've always been fearful that he would do the same and I would go back into that dark place again. Although I would assume that he would have a little bit more respect for me as we have a 4 YO.
I've always felt immense guilt at finishing it when we were 18 and he even admitted a few weeks ago that the way he acts towards me is because of the fact I finished him and showed him I didn't care about him, when in reality I have always idolised him and kind of placed him on a pedestal.
Sorry I just really needed to let this out. It works as a sort of therapy for me to write everything down. Is it normal to feel this way? He has been my life and future for so long. I really don't want to come crashing down.