Missing the cuddles and closeness. How to cope?

[TheMuteMoose]

Hi all

I am really struggling with the lack of touch now I am no longer in a relationship. I am actually happy to go with out the sex but for me not having someone to cuddle at night, to sit and watch tv with, even someone to just put their arm round me and give me a squeeze.

I am strong through the day when I am busy, but once I close that front door to the outside world it is tough. I push through this but once I am in bed at night it is almost unbearable at times.

Does any one have any coping techniques?

Probably doesn’t help I have been very poorly over the past week and actually feel like I need someone here with me!

Looking forward to hearing from you wise lot

It’s completely normal to feel that way. Have you got family (parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents) you can turn to for affection? Or maybe get a dog?

It’s tough, OP. Have you got friends who could come round one evening a week to keep you company? Obviously you won’t be snuggling (or you might be? I don’t know how close you are) just having someone to talk to would break up your evenings.

User- I have my dogs, they are wonderful and really help. It’s just that human touch and affection that kicks me in the teeth each night

Selina- my evenings are ok, I am busy with the dogs and having a tidy up. I enjoy the routine of keeping house. I don’t miss having my ex, he was an absolute prick, but I miss the hugs

I miss hugs too.. Not kissing and hugging leaves me feeling very lonely. And it terrifies me that this is it for the rest of my life.. You aren't alone..

It’s really hard op and there’s no clear answer. I was single for years and faced the same issue. Things that can help are exercise (endorphins) or I found meditation and mindfulness quite useful for recognising my feelings and existing with them.

I always went from one relationship to the next but I’m single post-divorce now and I miss the intimacy. Although it’s hard you kind of get used to it because you have to.

Massages and pampering . Are way to cope

OP i felt like this for a while after my ex. it was always when i got home too and closed the door. i didnt miss sex initially. it is hard and in my experience only time helps! just wanted to say you are not alone. i spent many a night soaking in the bath and drinking a good hot chocolate and watching a good drama to take my mind off things and bit by bit you realise you miss it less and less. hope you are ok.

also bit of a strange one but why not book yourself in for a massage! have some pamper time :)

I totally understand. I was single for three and a half years before I started dating again.

What I miss more than anything is affection and someone genuinely taking an interest in your day. I found evenings very lonely, even though I have two teens at home.

I'm now in a relationship (don't live together) and I'm really enjoying having that physical contact again. I just wanted to share it can and will happen again when the time is right.

Thank you all. I suppose just keeping busy and getting by day by day is the best answer isn’t it.

I really don’t want another relationship any time soon after escaping the last.. but the thought of no one scares me. I just hope it doesn’t push me towards someone just for the sake of hugs and kisses.