Going against the grain here, I finished with DP a few months ago, as I wasn’t having my emotional needs met and he didn’t seem willing or able to understand what I needed from him.
We spent about two months apart, both moved on - to the point we had both arranged dates with other people - when we bumped into each other and realised how much we’d missed each other.
Much talking, some counselling, changing things up in a fundamental way, we are now much happier. DP was also quite ill and realised how much he valued my support throughout his illness when he’d previously been dealing with it alone.
It’s like the break up was a reset button. I feel more comfortable stating what I need from him and he’s now aware that actually I AM prepared to walk away if he behaves badly, and that it’s only by chance that we ended up back together, so not to take it for granted.
It’s almost like he’s grown up a bit by being cast adrift for a while!
I think it can help, but you do have to be serious about the split being permanent. I went totally no-contact with him, and he felt the full force of living without me.
Had it been a permanent separation I’m sure I would still miss him sometimes, but I’m confident I would have been ok. Knowing that I’m not tied to him - that I’m with him because I choose to be - is also quite freeing.