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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will he make a move soon?

25 replies

fallingforhimslowly · 27/09/2018 09:11

Hi,

Met this lovely man a couple of weeks back but thought ‘way out of my league’ despite a really engaging conversation. We exchanged numbers but didn’t really think we would talk again...

But he contacted me a couple of days later and we haven’t stopped talking since!

He is out of the country at the moment and visiting his parents. He arrived this morning at 5AM but he’s just text me ‘good morning’ and asked how I was and what I had planned for today...

He’s in a warm country now and I said ‘oh I envy you, wished I could be somewhere warm too!’ And he replied and said ‘I wished I could have taken you on this trip’.

He asked for some photos (as I don’t post on social media) of me and when I sent them, he said ‘wow aren’t you beautiful!’

And one thing I’ve noticed a lot is that whenever he has to go somewhere or going to bed - he will always say ‘we will talk again soon (or when you have time)’

He texts me throughout my time at work if I’m not busy or right on the dot when I finish at 8PM.

We are meeting up next week when he comes back (if I can get time of work that is...)

Is this guy interested? Is he going to make a move?

I’ve only ever been in one long term relationship (6 years) and in all fairness, I feel relieved (and not a shred of guilt) for once that I ended it with my ex because I never thought I would meet someone so perfect and to have a shot possibly? I know that if this works out, it will be a real fun relationship for us because we are both so compatible on so many levels!

But he hasn’t asked me about my past relationships or what I look for in a relationship. This bothers me and makes me think that maybe he’s not interested?

He’s 27 (civil engineer) and I’m 25 (I work in healthcare)

OP posts:
Djnoun · 27/09/2018 09:27

He does sound interested. But I would recommend not counting your chickens in respect to putting a lot of effort into imagining a future relationship.

If you want to go on a date with him, ask him.

fallingforhimslowly · 27/09/2018 09:28

How can I ask him?

OP posts:
Djnoun · 27/09/2018 09:34

Just say, do you fancy coming for a drink with me. It sounds pretty likely he'll say yes.

Musti · 27/09/2018 09:42

He is absolutely 100% interested! Either wait until he asks or suggest going out somewhere. You're both young so I'm not sure he needs to ask what you're looking for in a relationship.

Changedname3456 · 27/09/2018 10:35

I’d be really careful about blowing this up into something it may never become. Definitely ask him if he fancies a drink, but you don’t know yet if you’ll actually be as compatible as you’re thinking you’ll be, based on texts etc alone.

HarmlessChap · 27/09/2018 10:45

He is interested enough thay you're meeting up next week (your work permitting) so don't over think it just enjoy and go with the flow.

NuffingChora · 27/09/2018 11:06

I’m a couple of years older than you, and I don’t think I’ve once in my life been asked what I look for in a relationship, or for that matter about my past relationships until much later in the game.... And I’ve managed to navigate the dating game successfully enough that I’m now married with a 2 year old!

Having said that, I can completely identify with your mind running away from you over this guy, but please just SLOW DOWN and give him a chance to show his cards, and you yours, without planning your wedding and naming your children before you’ve even had your first date!! FWIW, yes I think he sounds interested, but for God’s sake don’t scare him off before you’re even out of the gates!

MargoLovebutter · 27/09/2018 11:09

Try not to over-invest with loads of texts. Slow right down and tell him that while you really like him, you aren't into long chats on texts without getting to know someone in real life. Say you'd love to meet up when he gets back from his trip and ask him to suggest a date. Then back off.

subspace · 27/09/2018 11:27

Meet, meet meet, before you emotionally invest any further. People can be SO different in person.

fallingforhimslowly · 27/09/2018 11:27

Haha I haven’t thought about marriage or kids or whatever! Just wanted to know if he’s being friendly (he sees me just as a friend) or if there is a little more to it

OP posts:
subspace · 27/09/2018 11:28

What's this about if you can get time off work? Just go for an hour or two and a coffee after (or before) work, no need to take time off!

fallingforhimslowly · 27/09/2018 12:00

I work from 8AM till 8PM so can’t take a hour or two off

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 27/09/2018 12:03

Then you meet him after 8pm or at a weekend. Don't start changing your life around for someone you don't know.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 27/09/2018 12:14

I think he definitely sounds interested. I think if you are already having a lot of contact over the phone then you should meet as soon as possible because you risk building him up in your mind and thinking hes something he's not. I spoke to a man for 4 months online and phone and thought he was perfect for me, but I met him and he was completely different and never saw him again.

MintyJones · 27/09/2018 12:34

Haven't you posted about this one before? Or maybe it's just similar

subspace · 27/09/2018 12:36

Meet him at 8.30pm then. Half an hour to have a quick freshen up and get to somewhere. Or on your day off.

fallingforhimslowly · 27/09/2018 21:01

We have met in person before and I quite liked him then too :)

OP posts:
friio1983 · 27/09/2018 21:17

Speaking as a man I'm afraid to break it to you that until he sends a dick pic you're in the friendzone. Sad

Only joking he sounds well up for it.

Lookatyourwatchnow · 27/09/2018 21:24

How did you two meet?

fallingforhimslowly · 28/09/2018 08:52

Haha we met in the library of all places!!!

I asked him this morning... we talk almost everyday but I feel like I still don’t know you completely...

He replied and said... with time we will know everything about each other, if you have any questions then ask me :)

What does this mean eh?

OP posts:
fallingforhimslowly · 28/09/2018 22:03

I’ve had enough of him already...

You guys were right... it’s ALWAYS me asking questions and he just responds but never asks anything

OP posts:
fallingforhimslowly · 28/09/2018 22:04

I can’t stand people who don’t engage or put in as much or more than me in terms of effort

I gift my soul to friends and partners but never get anything back thats even close

OP posts:
PolkaDoting · 28/09/2018 22:40

Have you got another thread about this?

nokiaoldschool · 28/09/2018 22:45

Wow, what a difference 24 hours can make? You were planning a future yesterday and are now fed up with him.
Online/ message based relationships are a minefield to navigate.

Rebecca36 · 28/09/2018 23:19

He is certainly interested in you. I hope you meet up next week and have a good time. I'm sure you're sensible enough to realise it may come to nothing when you get to know eachother better but, for now, enjoy.

It's not unreasonable for him to not question you too much. A lot of people hate being questioned!

Try to take it a bit more slowly.

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