Fed up with being single now :(

[Itsmenotyouisntit]

I know I shouldn't be. And for the most part I'm happy in life but I really want a relationship.
Just someone to share life, be intimate and best friends with. I feel like I want the security of knowing someone loves me and I so I can love them back.
I've been single (pretty much) for over three years now, I'm a 32 year old single mother to an almost four year old. I have a full time job, nice home, car, I go to the gym, I volunteer. I'm fun to be around and dare I saw it im attractive and take care of my appearance.
I've tried OLD, only met a lot of sleezes and liers, I've been messed around a few times too. There have also been a couple of guys who have been interested in me but the feeling hasn't been mutual on my end and visa versa.
I'm fed up now. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't socialise much with work and dd, I moved to this area (rural) when she was a baby so dont really know anyone here to go out with and I'm not interested in anyone from my old social circle (who I know a few would be in me but I don't want to go back to that life when I've worked so hard to build this new life) there's been a couple of guys who I really liked but they either messed me around or weren't interested past a few dates and it's been so disheartening. What am I doing wrong??
I'm probably sounding desperate here, I'm not in rl.. just upset tonight as my latest interest called everything off as he's got cold feet.. I just want that special someone and I can't find him.
I seem to have no problem attracting guys initially but it doenst go past sex OR when they know they're not going to get sex they fuck off. Why won't they see me for who I am?? I'm not a sex toy. I'm great and I know it. My friends know it. I guess I'm just not relationship material

And please, if anyone's got anything nasty to say please don't, I'm feeling really fragial right now..

I hear you. Feel similar here but I feel like I'm accepting it which is a bit worrying? ie being single forever or until ds 10 leaves home
Have lived with ds alone for 9 years since divorce! a few relationships, flings etc but can't seem to find the right match.
Similar, go to gym, own house, car, work.
I don't know the answer. I hate OLD. you're not alone

You can't hurry love.

You just have to wait.

I hope that helps

Ive moved in to acceptance. 11 years now. Im 48. Ive tried. It isnt happening. I have to live my life now. As it is not how it could be.

I dont mind being single as much as i mind this universal nugget of advice that when you love yrslf you will meet somebody. Not always.

Yeah I think.. "maybe when dd is older and I can socialise more".
But she's not even 4!! I'm in my prime right now! I can't keep doing this for the next 14 years..
It's funny but I know once the (mini) heartache of this recent thing has gone away I'll be happy on my own again, and I'll think I don't want another guy in my life, plodding through life quite happily but then one pops up and I'm like "hmmm I'll give it a try!" Clearly forgetting that I'll only end up feeling like this again, then in the end im back to square one, feeling rejected and like shit. Its stupid I keep doing this to myself but I'd really just like to find that special someone.

You sound lovely. The only thing I can suggest is more dating and being clear you want a relationship so you scare off the ones who don't right at the start

I find dating hard when children are young.
Maybe leave a few more years when your dd a bit older and it might be easier?

Maybe I should just learn to say no??
Stop trying altogether? But it's hard when it's something that I want and they're hitting on me.. Its not that I don't get asked out, I do. Just not for the right reasons.
I also have a habbit of putting all my eggs in one basket, I'll meet a guy, like him, think it'll work out then be gutted when it doesn't.
I can't multi date for some reason either.. it feels like I'm cheating weird I know..

user1490
I do and they tell me that they do.. but THEY LIE!! it's all just a ploy to get me into bed. Bastards.
Yeah maybe I should leave it.
From their point of view it may put them off when I can only meet once a week at best.. hard to even create a relationship within that time frame anyway.. 🙄

Very similar situation to you for 7 years.. did find my social circle increased as did my social life once ds started school. I know there are success stories from OLD but I found it full of players & time wasters.
Good thing about being single so long is I really got to know myself, I think in that time I actually grew, I've lost 5 stone in weight, I'm more independent & confident. I actually got to the point where I'd accepted that maybe this was my life I was destined to be single & that stopped bothering me. I enjoyed the odd online flirt but did not want to date... didn't want to set myself up for further disappointment... but then an old flame came back into my life & so far so good.
Our 3rd time trying a relationship but because of my 'growth' I'm a different person, less needy more laid back & as a result we get on so much better. He is worth the wait.

Ah sorry that last post was for Haireverywhere

You're going for the wrong men maybe?

Possibly. It always ends up the same way..
But they all seem different on the surface so it's hard to tell initially

Do the things you love and you'll find the one you love.

If they're any hobbies you used to do but gave up, you might have to resurrect them.

I think there's a long running dating thread here somewhere. Get the experts to vet the profile of the next potential date?

Man here, 44, no kids, single 8 years. Got a female friend, 41, no kids, single 11 years. She's not the only one either. Done all the online dating, joining clubs, stopped looking, all the advice everyone gets. Hasn't happened for us. There's no answer - it's just luck, it seems. I have lots of friends but almost no family. It sucks.

In my younger days, and before I met dp, I was a member of the local Divorced & Separated club. They did coffee evenings at someone's house twice a week, and a disco on Saturday nights. You'd take your own drink so it was cheap. A good time was had by all even if you didn't meet that special someone. This was pre OLD and probably more fun.

My opinion is until you are truly truly content in being single and with your own life you may not find it. It will come when you least expect it! There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, similar to me having moments wishing I was single

Have you ever thought about why you go for such men? I mean that in a nice way, but sometimes our subconscious doesn’t help us. Have a really good think about who you are meeting and what you are looking for

Oh god I know exactly what you are going through! I've been single 11 years! I don't really know what is wrong with me! Although don't get me wrong, it was nice for a while, I can't help but think it will never happen