Hi there, I am new here and haven't posted before. However I've been searching Google for some advice and it keeps bringing me back here so hoping for some much needed help for a friend.
Apologies in advance if this is somewhat long but details are necessary.
My friend is in her early twenties and has recently (3 months ago) started seeing a guy. They met at a pub he was working at. She gave his colleague her number and they started exchanging texts. At the start of this "relationship" he was very engaging, would text often, interested in finding out things about her, talking about himself, it was all looking good. She has previously been in a couple of very mentally and physically abusive relationships. They have been intimate.
Anyway, recently his messages have started to die down. He's not very interested in her, or even in her getting to know him very much anymore. He will leave it anywhere between 2-4 days before a response and it will be very short. Prior to this, it was huge paragraphs and regular meet ups. He's still polite, but very rarely suggests seeing her. She is constantly doing all the "work" - asking when he's free, texting him back almost instantly etc.
They've recently only been seeing each other every 2 weeks, give or take a few days.
Approximately 3 weeks ago, I met him. He seemed nice enough, there was no interaction from him to her to suggest they were anything more than friends. It was quite awkward. He was chatty with myself and my partner but didn't even look at her all that much.
She has tried to have a chat with him about where they were at in the respect of were they exclusive, friends with benefits, in the very early stages of a relationship etc. He has mainly avoided this until our meeting as I was curious. Nothing was said whilst we were there. After we left, he told her that they were courting.
A throwaway comment was made during an intimate moment about them being careful because he didn't want kids. So she casually asked him about whether that was just for now or ever. He replied he didn't want them ever. My friend VERY much wants children at a later date.
A couple of meetings after this, she asked him if he really did mean that he didn't want children ever, or if he just meant for now. She explained that for her, what she eventually wants is a serious relationship then eventually kids and for her this was non-negotiable. He then said that he doesn't want kids indefinitely?
So this is where my friend is stuck. She doesn't know what to do, whether she's just looking into it too much, if her insecurities are coming into play etc. Last year, she was in a relationship and he was a dickhead, basically. She found out she was pregnant, she lost the baby early on and he disappeared despite telling her he loved her, would always be there for her despite what was happening etc.
I personally think he's messing her about and just wants sex. I have made her aware of my thoughts on this, we've been friends for 9 years so she's fully aware I am still here regardless of whatever her partner (future and past) is like.
Apologies again for how long this is. Hope you can help her :)
Thankyou!