Friebdships WWYD??

[scalleywag]

Posted in chat by accident so posting here. I know it's been done before but could really do with MN opinions

Friend A I've known for 6 years, Friend B for 5. Met both through separate child related groups and now all three DC are friends and see each other every day. I used to be quite good friends with A and very good friends with B but since DC mutual friendship and A's personal angst over kids friendships in general (after concerns of her eldest 2) A has made a concerted effort to befriend B's family. Invited on days out, play dates etc. Generally these are not on anyone's radar as she's very discrete. Friend B used to comment that she is always in a huddle of two but now seems oblivious to this behaviour. Friend A shows a brief glimpse of annoyance on occasion when I join the twosome so I've stopped. As a result friendship with B is suffering though its not affecting our DC yet.
How would you feel and what would you do? I don't think there is much I can do and feel I have to accept friendships are not what they were.

Why can’t you still see friend A and B separately as before? Or do things as a group? Are they actively rejecting you or do you think you could just be a bit jealous that they are no longer just “your” friends? You do sound jealous if I’m honest. Yes your friendship has changed but I’d view that as a good thing because it’s just widened it. People can have multiple friendships.

Find Friend D.

Friend A sound rude. Friend B seems wishywashy.

Angel I knew I'd get a jealous response on MN! I didn't put anything in that sounded like I was jealous. I'm all for groups, but when there is whispering and huddling and I catch glimpses of annoyance from A when I join, I think it's only natural for anyone self aware to feel they aren't welcome. They aren't actively rejecting me but Catastic got it when stated B sounds wishywashy.
I'm interested in what MNetters would do in this situation. Making new friends is the best answer but takes time. So what to do in the meantime?

Tbh I'd withdraw from them, life's too short for that shit.

You did put something that sounds like you’re jealous I’m afraid op, because I think you sound jealous. You’ve basically said “I had two friends that used to just be my friends and now they’re friends with each other and I don’t like it and feel pushed out. I’ve stopped hanging out with them as a result.” To me that sounds jealous and, frankly, a little childish. What would I do? Get over it probably. Friendships change, friendships widen and close over time. If friend A was only showing “brief glimpses of annoyance” then maybe she was just having a bad day and you’re imagining it. If friend B is still fine with you but now can only give you 50% of her friend time now that she’s splitting it with friend A then she’s only doing what you were doing to her when you were splitting your friend time between her and friend A, but you did not think your friendship was suffering then.

It’s baby group friendships that all stop when dc get to school anyway. Not worth wasting time and energy on. In the meantime join new groups and expand your social circle