Hi. I need some perspective and definitely some advice please. I'm so desperate, and this is the only way I feel I can get some impartial feedback.
My partner and I have been together 5 years and have a beautiful 7 month old girl.
We have never argued so much as when she was born, we bicker constantly and it is really getting us both down. I am exhausted, slightly suffering with post natal depression and have next to no help from family or friends. My partner has football commitments (every Saturday and one night a week) and work commitments so it's been a hard journey so far that has felt like an uphill struggle constantly with me and baby.
I am bitter that his life hasn't changed all that much- he's gone on two boys holidays already before she was 4 months old, and goes on a night out with friends maybe once a month.
He's a good dad and did his fair bit, at the beginning, but now I sense he is not wanting to feed/ change/ bath or get up with our baby near enough as much as he used to. He said he's tired, and he's not playing that well in football anymore - I nag him all the time (when he's here) even though I prepare dinner every night and keep the house immaculate. this weekend we had the biggest row.
I went away for the weekend (after her bedtime on Friday until Sunday morning, only to a place half hour from home) with friends to celebrate a special occasion. He looked after her on Friday night, then Saturday morning she was dropped to his mums at 8am as he was playing football all day. The plan was that he would return at 9pm (they were playing far away) and he would stay at his mums and do the night feeds and morning routine.
I called him on Sunday morning to see how it all went. I turns out he had gone out, got very drunk and was hungover - but it was ok, because his mum was ok about it and would look after the baby.
I was annoyed because one again he is not being the responsible parent, and his mother, who has attachment issues to her son anyway is still pandering to him and undermining me.
He has now said he can't take this anymore, that he hasn't done anything wrong. I am relentless and a control freak and he would prefer a life without me. He will be staying down his mothers apparently.
What do I do?! How do I act?! I don't want to raise our child with split parents like I had. I'm devastated that I've done this to her and I begged him to try and make this work for her. He is very stubborn and has said I am too much for him.
Please someone tell me if I need to change, or if I have over-reacted. I feel I do so much for him and our baby. He said I was a bad mum for going away the weeekend. Am I?
Please help.