Looks like tonight is the night

[Ilovebolly]

Posted as recently as yesterday about how I’m planning to end my marriage but was hoping to hang on a wee bit longer. Well H has just sent a text (we sleep in separate rooms) asking if we can talk after work tonight. I’ve a horrible feeling he may want to discuss counselling but I’m so far past that I’m going to have to tell him it’s over. Feel absolutely sick!

I've not been in this situation before so can't advise on the best way to manage it but all you can do is be honest with yourself and if you're sure it's over then you that is what you have to do

Thank you @lavalamped. Definitely over, just got to find the strength to stand my ground. Of course, maybe he’s going to tell me he wants a divorce tonight...that would make it easier in a way!

How did it go? I hope you're both on the same page to make things a bit easier

Oh sorry just realised you might be talking tonight

Will be tonight after work...can’t say I’m looking forward to it! Thanks for asking!

Good luck OP. That hideous anxious sick feeling when you can’t concentrate on anything else is awful.

Best of luck, make sure you have a friend on standby and a strong brandy for after

I'm contemplating a similar conversation with my DH tomorrow night (he is at a work do tonight).

I chickened out over the weekend cause it made me feel ill, but honestly then felt worse and almost depressed the next two days...

I'll be sure to drink an extra string g&t tonight, to help keep your nerves steady.

You can do it op. I suspect you'll just have to grit your teeth and get through it, but by tomorrow morning what a weight will be lifted. Good luck!

Thanks so much for the messages of support - it means a lot! Will let you know how it goes!

Good luck 🤞

Good luck to anyone in this situation.
I had my similar conversation all planned out (many years ago) but circumstances just happened & it all came out much earlier than I'd intended - H asked me a question & I just couldn't lie to him.
It was traumatic just starting off the 1st sentence, almost felt like an out-of-body experience, but I knew it was the right thing to do & the sense of honesty & relief afterwards was amazing.
💐

Counselling maybe a good way for you two to discuss separation. It doesn’t have to be about reconciliation.

We’ve had a good talk and it was all surprisingly calm. I’ve told H that I want us to separate and although he’s not happy about it he’s accepting. He’s going to move out on a “temporary” basis and we will see from there but I’ve been pretty clear about my feelings. I feel awful as he is so sad and feels like his life is falling apart. We’ve ageeed to do everything as calmly and amicably as we can to keep things as easy as possible for the kids.
I was meant to be seeing a solicitor next week but H wants us to see one together to try and make arrangements sensibly together. We have both agreed that nobody is going to try and screw the other over and the most important thing of all is that the kids are looked after, both financially and emotionally.
It’s such a sad ending but in a way if we can become friends again instead of the awful atmosphere we have had, and co-parent successfully then we will all be much happier than we are now. I feel oddly serene despite just ending my marriage!

Well done doesn't seem the correct phrase but you know what I mean sometimes things just don't work out and that can't always be helped. It sounds like you've both working today to do this as smoothly as possible. Time is a healer so hopefully he'll be feeling much better soon and you can both move forward