Trapped ... what to do?!

[Terrigal]

I'm feeling very foolish having agreed to move in with the father of my young child despite problems with his behaviour towards me in the past. I've relocated from one side of the country to the other, rented out my house to a lovely family and now I seem to be trapped with someone who appears to have a split personality. He was fine last week but the person I split up with in 2015 who he assured me was gone seems to be back. He has been very stressed in the past and I've made excuses for his behaviour towards me and others as a result, but the stress levels have reduced, he assured me he had changed and he has proven to be a great dad and loving partner over the last 6-18 months, albeit from a distance but the side of him where there is no rationale thought, suspicious, accusatory, bullying and verbally intimidating has come back. My son has just started a new school and loves it. He also loves his Dad. He had agreed I should see my Mum who has dementia every 2/3 weeks (weekends), but he is now seemingly revoking that due to the distance. Now I can only see misery ahead of me. I have no family here with no where to go to. I also can't just leave as all my furniture and stuff are in his house, my house is rented and I've no where to go as no-one could accommodate us for long. Plus what do I do about school for my son if I leave? I have given up my job so what do I do about income if I just leave all our things? He'll never give them back. I simply do not know what to do or where to turn. My friends and family all think me mad trusting him again and they seem to be right, but they are all 250+ miles from here and I'm stranded with my little boy. Can anyone advise me of any organisations I can speak to who will be able to advise me?

Oh heck. Here is what I'd do: ring old job, say you made a mistake moving and would love to come back if they have any vacancies could they let you know. Find out legal situation with schools; contact son's old school to see if they have places/could let you know if one comes up unexpectedly. Get temp job(s). Save the money. Sell the furniture, you can start again with very little furniture and the money will be useful. Give the family in your house notice, unless it's better for you to move to a cheaper house or flat. Let your friends know what's going on. Take up offers of help.

He had agreed I should see my Mum who has dementia every 2/3 weeks (weekends), but he is now seemingly revoking that due to the distance. Well that was BIG of him.. allowing you to visit your Mum you need to stay calm keep a cool head and break these problems down into smaller issues that you can check off one at a time.. without him knowing.. your DS will adjust.. fear not about him settling into another school.. try and find a job near where your relatives are.. and if possible use the visit to your Mum to source a rental and interviews...again without his knowledge.. I'm sure WomansAid will assist you .. someone with more experience than me will be along soon... good luck

For which organisations to talk to, look at the top of the page, mumsnet should have a link to a list. Women's aid is a regularly recommended one in here, try them xx

OP did you manage a little time today to make any calls to relevant agencies

Thanks to everyone for their advice and comments and for checking with me. I’ve spoken with one trusted friend, albeit a long way from here! And I’ve made an appointment with a solicitor for advice for tomorrow and sourced the contact numbers for Citizen’s Advice as well as Refuge and Women’s Aid. Have also contact my son’s old school to see if we can get his place back, found some short term accommodation ideas there and found accommodation we can retreat to here should it be needed at short notice. So some progress on the exit front! Can cut the atmosphere here though with a knife. I’m in the spare room but noted that the keys have been removed today which is a little upsetting although the rooms do bolt from the inside! Still not sure how or when I’m going to manage to get out and my son’s Dad is being extra attentive towards our son to make matters harder. Thanks again all and any other ideas please do share. Certainly taking small steps seems to be doing the trick!

OP I'm so glad you have spoken to someone in real life... and you've taken massive steps in making plans for yourself and your DS.... in regard to making your exit... I'd start by being more relaxed around your DS's Dad.. let him think things are reparable.. and he'll in turn relax... and you can maneuver .. but you know him best OP... I'm glad you're making progress