I should start this by saying that I am not fond of BIL.. I find him very condescending and snobbish and he has a talent for manipulating things to go his way. For example, he decides what he wants the outcome of something to be and schemes with his family to make sure it happens his way before suggesting it as if it was a sudden idea.
As his family are in their house very often, my sister is railroaded into things she doesn't want to do because they are all in agreement. She sometimes gets annoyed but generally gets on with it. She has a job that involves some travelling and is sometimes content for him to do the organising. I feel railroaded too because his plans include my family being there and it is always something that suits him and his family more than it suits my family.
I try to restrict being with him when possible but obviously can't always do this as I want to maintain a relationship with her and I don't want to come between her and her husband either.
It isn't always possible to avoid his company and as it was my sister's birthday today, I ended up spending time with my sister and his family.
BIL began telling a long (and pointless story) about a work colleague who he pointed out immediately had an inferior job to him and was from X (a very working class area). BIL apparently felt entitled to ask this person to do something very menial that was not in his job description because he was from X and wouldn't mind doing it!
This immediately got my back up as well as it being a sweeping generalisation about every person from one particular area, I find the snobbery makes me feel really angry. It wasn't helped today by his 'naice' family members tittering at his story while I tried to zone out.
He isn't going to change and all I can do is change how I react to him. Does anyone have any advice about how I can do this? Today I felt myself getting irrationally angry at him and I don't want him to be in a position that makes me feel as I do. I didn't say anything but came home seething. If I had said something, it would have been caused a big reaction from his family who think the sun shines out of him but I really have had enough of being a sounding board and politely nodding to his prejudices.