I'm so sad...

[rockstarchick]

I can't seem to get happy
I took back my ex who I got rid because he was grumpy and miserable and it made me like that
We was horrible to me and I had enough
So turns out single life for me sucks
I'm sad and miserable all the time
And although I've tried I really can't seem to make things work
I feel like a complete failure at everything I do
I look at my life and I just won't want to be in it
Even though I have a little girl who I should be using as my motivation I just can't see the wood for the trees
I even agreed to see my ex again as he was emailing me after I left him and blocked him
He had promised to make it up to me and for a while things were good, great in fact
And today he has been the same grumpy person I left 8 months ago ?! So I completely lost it with him, said some things I shouldn't have and although he did too he then said he was leaving and not coming back. We don't live together but he was staying tonight and his work bag was at mine
Lo is at her dads and I'm sat here alone. I've pleaded with him to come back but he won't.
I feel like I'm in a rut, living someone else's life
I hate my job, I don't earn enough money to have a decent living I
Ie I'm constantly worried about money, I'm over drawn and struggling yet don't over spend
I feel like my life is over like ok drowning and I don't know what k do or where to start
Please help

I think first port of call is your GP as it sounds like you have depression on some scale.

Have you thought about counciling at all? Do you have anyone you can confide in and off load joe you are feeling?

There are groups out there that can run through your finances with you and make the best of your income. Maybe a call to Citizens Advice can put you in touch with someone in your area.

Do you work at all? Have family or friends?

It will get better, you just need to tackle one thing at a time. Firstly see your GP

You poor thing.

Can you list a few nice things? Any nice friends or a sibling or your job or hobby?

It sounds like it's not going to work with your ex but you have dragged out the breakup by giving it another go. It'll take time.

Give yourself a break. We all have hard times. You're allowed feel sad when everything is tough.

Didn't want to read and run, I am going through the same situation and it's so hard. Take each day as it comes and try and see the positives in not being with a waste of space who brings you more misery than happiness xx

I just feel like I'm going round in a big circle
But I guess because I got back in contact with my ex it's why I probably feel like that
I've had a lot of stress and upset this year and he promised to make it better but has let me down again
Just feel so shit

I am sure we are living the same life....there will be no third time lucky for me/us
As hard as it is I need to be done this time for good and I hope you have the strength to be too x

Oh really? What's happened ?
I'm still messaging mine asking him to come back ?!?! I'm like IF he does then he can say sorry
But he has ignored me all night, sending the off message
Saying I've gone too far this time and I'm at fault and just a load of crap?!
When I'm with him I know he's a moody buggar but I just can't seem to get out of this
Maybe counselling would help me
It's comforting to know I'm not the only one although not nice you have gone through hurt too
Xx

The relationship only looks worthwhile in the light of everything else feeling so “meh” at the moment.

Which bit of your situation would be the easiest and/or most satisfying to turn around? Try concentrating on that and excluding the other stuff for the moment.

For instance, is there any way to work towards getting promoted / better paid at your job? That would kill two birds with one stone (finances and self worth). It may involve moving employer, or getting qualifications, both of which might offer a useful change of scenery and pace.

By concentrating on that, the relationship side may become less important. You’ll probably find you come across a better potential partner as soon as you don’t focus on it!

Thanks for your replies
I've hardly slept
Funnily enough I asked my manager for more hours as I want to earn more money not stay on minimum wage - I can just about fit in a few more hours around my little ones school clubs but he said hr can't facilitate it so ok going to look for a second income or another job
It's a factor that makes me feel down so good advice thank you
Going to try be positive today
Can't spend my life being so miserable I really need to snap out of it - contemplating waiting to call the dr to see if I can make these life style changes first to see if that makes me feel better?

I am trying to feel positive today but want to drive to his and talk to him...I know it's a bad idea as I will probably leave in tears

Just wanted to check in

I can't believe I'm reading this back
Nothing has changed

How are you getting on? Be great to see how you are ?

Onemoresmartie

Hey rockstar

We haven't been together for a couple of weeks now, I keep him blocked and my life is much more peaceful and stress and worry free...however I have been unblocking him when I have had too much to drink which doesn't help matters

He has sent me messages and tried to call me at 4/5 in the morning but something stops me from responding because I know he just wants to throw abuse my way and turn it all around

How are things with you? Thanks for checking in x

Hey

Well we got back together and funnily enough nothing changed

So now back to square one and feeling similar to how I was when I wrote this post

I've opened up old wounds haven't i
Big sigh

I haven't blocked yet but we only split Friday
I think I will be blocking though if history repeats itself he will be back in contact at some point and I can't have this up and and down in my life

Not feeling great

X

So you both feel as well that at this time of year, with Christmas looming and the pressure to be happy and jolly and exited all the time that it makes things feel even worse? I know that's how I feel right now! It seems like everywhere I look (real life, tv, social media) there are happy contented couples and I just wish I could be one of them.

I so feel your pain, it's a tough world sometimes with so much to juggle and money issues and family etc etc that I think we tend to lose sight of the good stuff as it gets buried under all the dross.

I've no real wise words, only to say, try and be strong. Your ex is obviously pulling you down further but you cling to him for all of the wrong reasons (been there, done that). Discard him from your life and concentrate on your little one and finding a new job which hopefully will make you happier and bring in some more money.

Make a list of the little good things in your life, no matter how small. There are a ton of us out there feeling the same as you and how I wish there was a magic wand I could wave for us all but until then, stay strong.

Thanks half Dutchgirl. Yep I also feel like that. This time last year I was also having issues with his moods, this time 2 months ago almost to the date I wrote a sad post and somethings got to change....

so this afternoon I took lo out and saw he has messaged a couple of times.i haven't opened then fully but it says ' hope you and lo are ok, you will be just fine x'
And that he has put his debit card into my letter box ?!
He knows I'm struggling financially but seriously leaving his debit card?? I think it's a head fuck. I used to think it was sweet if he did stuff like that but now I really think he's doing it to almost keep me or make himself feel better
I will struggle financially especially as Xmas is coming
But I've put the card back into an envelope and will send it back
Or I'm contemplating just ignoring and throwing it away as I'm serious I want no more contact him

X

Please block him. He only brings you pain and sadness, and you deserve so much better

Just cut the card up and bin it. He's trying to control you. You can get through this to happier days :)

I never saw it as control it's only my friend who said that earlier today
I don't even have his pin, as if I would actually use it.
Well I will block him as I think it's the only way I can try move on now if I am honest I am concerned that once I do, he may then start contact by email and turning up so and I kno I can block his emails I guess I just want a few days where I know he's not trying to contact me as I feel like I'm on tender hooks and really do not want him turning up x