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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

not physically the type i thought he would go for

7 replies

roseyposeyshmosey · 23/09/2018 19:57

I've found some messages today on dps phone. something in my gut told me to look so I did.

on his fb messager were some general chat with a few women, nothing sexual but with women hes never mentioned to me before none of which he seems to have any real life connection with. some where he's deleted the previous messages but the response is clear that he's instigated the messages. some early hours in the morning when I've not been with him.

im honestly not the type to bat an eyelid at female friendships but these do not sit right. some may not class it as cheating but in my opinion it is to a degree.

the thing that gets me though is the physical appearance of these women, would have sworn are what he dislikes. he's actually told me before that he doesn't.

why? is just an attention thing? so it doesn't actually matter, he's just getting off on the attention?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 23/09/2018 19:59

If your gut is telling you to check his phone, something is badly wrong in your relationship. You don’t trust him. What else needs to be said?

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 23/09/2018 20:01

Does it matter what they look like ? He’s chatting to them and keeping it a secret from you. He sounds pervy. It’s an LTB from me.

Dandylie · 23/09/2018 20:05

I think it may well just be for the attention. I think a lot of guys like the ego boost of getting messages from girls when they have absolutely no intention of doing anything in real life. I think it’s weird personally - I don’t know any women who think like that, but men and their egos are a law unto themselves...

roseyposeyshmosey · 23/09/2018 20:10

no it doesn't matter what they look like, I'm just trying to understand why - not that it makes a difference!

dandy I think you're right. they're ego can be something else.

he had a classic guilty reaction too. tried to turn it around on me.
I've blocked him on everything.

urgh I feel a bit sick.

OP posts:
Stellenbosch · 23/09/2018 20:22

I think you've made such a big point of it you need to stop drip feeding and tell
Ppl what the women look like and why you think they look 'wrong'. This has stopped being about him and is now about you.

roseyposeyshmosey · 23/09/2018 20:38

there's no drip feed. as said previously, it doesn't matter what they look like - which is why I haven't said what they look like.
I've also said in my op that he has told me that's not what he likes.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 23/09/2018 20:45

And yet your thread title.

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