Trust....

[josie231976]

So hubby has abused my trust twice in our ten years. The rest of the time hes a wonderful partner, father and friend. I love him dearly but trying to regain trust is an effort.
I need to check his phone lies have been around money. So need to check he isnt gambling or anything but i dont feel good keep asking for his phone. Hmmmm.

End it.

Is there a question ?

I need to regain trust and am happy to try. My question is how do i get this trust back. Do i really have to search his phone each night!
Leaving him is not an option at this stage. Relationships take work if worth it

He has to do the work to regain your trust.

It is not something that you do on your own.

His efforts are either successful or not.

It’s not worth it though if you trust him so little you have to obsessively check up on him.

And he’s not a good husband if he’s betrayed you. Twice.

Trust is earned. I don’t think it’s something you can decide to do. If he is genuinely sorry and if he accepts responsibility for breaking your trust, then he should be prepared to offer you anything you need as HE tries to rebuild the trust. HE broke it, he needs to work to fix it. This means offering complete transparency - phone, email, bank...
If he can’t or won’t do that then he isn’t really sorry.

If leaving is not an option then your relationship is doomed