OLD - good only for casual flings?

[Sonjing]

I have been spending some time on dating apps, mostly Bumble and Happn. I went on 10/12 first dates during the last year and dated someone regularly for 3 months.

It seems to me that most men on OLD state that they are looking for something casual, so I wonder if I am wasting my time on these apps (I am looking for a relationship).

In your experience, do most people do OLD with a casual fling mindset? If so, is OLD completely useless if I am looking for something serious?

I have several friends who married after OLD but all of them said they were after a relationship and only dated people who said that too, not casual or we'll see type profiles. Match and eharmony were the ones I remember. I'm sure people with more suggestions will be along.

P.S. good luck

I met my DH through OLD. He was the second person I met (the first being one date).
Not sure if it's rare for that to happen or not but a few friends I know have been 'hooking up' with different men for years through apps and never found anyone to have something lasting with.
My opinion in their cases is it's not just the men at fault but them too.
They seem to go too full on through messaging before even meeting in person.
Think sending suggestive messages, and tons of airbrushed selfies.
One friend has a whole string of men she's never even met but has had explicit sext conversations (she always shows me the dick pics!)
There's nothing wrong with it if that's what floats your boat but it's not just men looking for something less serious

Pay for a membership to a members-only OLD. The quality of people is higher when they've had to invest.

I met DH on Plenty of Fish just before Tinder took over the market. I had also met people on paid sites like Match and EHarmony.

Free sites like POF had the biggest turnover of new faces and so not as many of the Chronically Single (like me haha), but there were more people looking for casual.

Match and Eharmony had far fewer people to choose from and often the same old faces but they were looking for a relationships.

My strategy was:

• free sites
• email all people who look alright. Keep it short but mention something specific to their profile, not just a copy and paste message
• see what responses you get. Discount any rubbish replies e.g creepy or no conversation skills
• if conversation is going well, arrange dates quite soon and keep messages in the interim fairly minimal. This will stop you getting over invested before you've even met any of them. Discount any not willing to meet up after a few messages; theyre not serious. You're not on there for a pen pal.
• keep high standards on the first date. Allow 2 dates at most before calling time if there is no spark.
• rinse and repeat with a new batch.

My DH and I met on match.com so it worked for us

I met my DP on POF. We've been together nearly 4 years. There's a real mix of people on there but most of the men I met were after a long term relationship. It's a case of trying to weed them out and being upfront that you're not looking for casual fling.

I did find that the more relaxed I was about meeting people and dating, rather than finding 'the one', the more I attracted the men than wanted a relationship. I was a little bit like a kid in a sweet shop and dated a variety of different men, including ones that I wouldn't normally meet but those who seemed ok. My DP is the complete opposite of who I thought I'd go for, i.e. looks and personality.

I don't agree with paying for a membership to OLD. Many of the people on the paid sites are also on the free sites.