I have been with my husband for 8 years. We each have a daughter from prior relationships. We have his daughter every weekend and mine all of the time. My husband is a mechanic, who loves to race in his spare time. 3 years into our relationship we took all of the money we had and opened an auto repair shop. I am a book keeper by trade so I have done all of his book work and payroll for him. We didn't have a lot of money at the time so we had to do everything ourselves after work to make this possible. 2 years later he was diagnosed with cancer. He battled for almost 3 years. He had to have a stem cell transplant, and I was able to take a month off work to stay home and care for him. In December he was declared cancer free. The last few years he hasn't got to race as much and this past summer he raced every weekend Friday and Saturday night. I barely saw him. I don't hate the races, but I don't want to go all the time. This has never been a problem I was aware of. Anyways fast forward to this past week. He woke me up at 3:30am after being at the bar with his friend who has been out of town for quite sometime. I had asked him not to go as he had agreed to take me to have surgery at 8am. When he woke me up he accused me of cheating on him. Said he found a condom under the couch. We haven't often used condoms, but I do have some in the night stand and it was the same kind. He was drunk and asked me how it got there, I said I had no idea! Our girls are 13 and 15, i don't know if one of them did it or how it got there, but i have never cheated. He falls asleep and i wake him up in the morning, and everything is different. I went back for surgery and he was cold and distant. I came out of recovery and he drove me home. He got me what u needed and went to work. He worked late Thursday night. I tried to talk to him when he came home, and he got mad and left and went back to the bar with his friend. Friday he came to the house at 9:30am supposed to be at work at 8 got his stuff and left. Friday after work he called me and said he had to go get his daughter. I asked him to please come talk to me first. We talked he said that things haven't been going well for a long time, I am always starting fights and that he doesn't feel like he can do anything right. We have fought a lot this summer. He spent every weekend racing, he dumped tons of money into his car, and he never went out to do anything with me. If I saw him during the weekend I either had to go to the races or I would sometimes see him after. He said he would stay home to help me this weekend after surgery. He stayed home Friday and then Saturday we made plans to go to an escape room with our daughters. We got half way there and he turned around and went back home. Asked the girls to go inside. He said he still wasn't ok and needed to get his thoughts sorted out. He needed time to think about what he wanted. He then left and went to the race track. I text him and said that I would leave and go to my sister's he said he wasn't coming home tonight (Saturday). I said I would leave in the morning. He responded that I didn't need to go anywhere, he just needed time to figure things out.
So... I feel so let down in so many ways. I took care of him for so long with his cancer and my recovery time for my foot is only a few weeks, I feel abandoned by him. Maybe I didn't pay enough attention to our relationship this summer? I don't know. I don't know if I should wait for him, or take this whole thing as a cue for me to go. I have always been faithful, I tell him where I am going and what I am doing. I don't hide my phone, but he has started to his and has been talking to a woman who is married, but everything has been platonic.