Please help, I'm really struggling to make sense of what has happened to me over the last 4 months, I feel broken and confused, i'll try to be as concise as I can.
4 months ago I met a man and we hit it off almost away, my age (37), similar hobbies, interests and humour. Although I had previously been of the thought that I was happily single and had all my life ducks in a row, he blew me away.
Within 2 weeks i'd met his parents, his children, there was talk of engagements, living together and potential children of ours. All my friends said it was crazy fast, and I knew it was, but it was utterly intoxicating to be so wanted. I fell hard and fast.
Within 3 weeks he'd called my boss (without my knowing) and arranged my time off work to go on holiday with him and his son, without consulting me first.
I was 50/50 as to whether this was absolutely insane/controlling or a deeply romantic gesture but for the first time in my life I thought i'd found The One.
Once I was on holiday with him, things changed. He'd ignore me for long periods of time while he played on his phone, he took his phone everywhere with him, but always had it on silent and spent several hours a day in the toilet on it. He wouldn't look at it if I was in sight of the screen. I spoke to him about the phone thing and he said it was his holiday and he was entitled to relax as he wished. Not wanting to be a nagging girlfriend I eventually took myself off for walks around the area to enjoy the country we were in. His entire attitude to me changed too, he became very cold and quite cruel in some ways, there was no affection, no sex, no hand holding, nothing. He would tease me till the point of tears if he saw it was affecting me in any way. He could be similarly cruel to his DS too, at times, in a strange way of persuing a line of questioning on something really banal until the DS was very, very upset. He seemed to enjoy it.
Once we got back I told him how I felt, and why and he said that nothing was insurmountable as long as two people loved each other, so we tried again.
I would stay at his some nights and some nights come back to mine, I found out that on the nights I was at mine he would have a female friend over. I asked why she never 'popped round' while I was there and he couldn't give me an answer, it transpires she'd been an internet date he had had a fling with earlier this year. That omission bothered me somewhat and we had words.
He's become increasingly cold and cruel, telling me he doesn't want to do the things I want to do and wants to do his own things (I've never imposed any activity upon him, but have had to keep a strict schedule of attending endless gatherings of his).
He keeps telling me about his terrible temper.
I wanted him to meet my parents this last weekend and he hung around the house forever in his dressing gown knowing we were scheduled for 12:00, playing on his phone before announcing at 12:00 that he needed to have lunch first and proceeded to start cooking. I was just astounded and rescheduled, but still took him to meet them several hours late.
While I was waiting I decided to de-limescale the kettle, he asked what I was doing and looked at me as if he hated me, it was horrible. I was wearing his jumper and he made a big song and dance about me taking it off as he wanted to wear it, then, once I had, put another one on instead.
We went to a festival over the weekend and a very drunk friend of his pulled me to one side and told me he'd told her that he was taking his Ex to it instead of me. When I told him what she'd said he was angry at ME and we had to come home early, ive honestly never had someone look at me with such hatred in their eyes.
He sent a message to a group chat I'm in (his friendship group) saying I wouldn't be attending another event scheduled for Christmas and then backtracked when he realised i'd seen it and said he meant his DS. He didn't.
The climax of all this came this weekend when a girl started to ring him and he'd reject the calls, he then went out to pick his son up (a 15 min drive) and was out an hour and a half, he said he'd called her back while he was out but she was just a customer. He told me about her husband and kids, their cars and life etc and I believed him.
On Monday I found out she was another 'ex', the one the drunk friend had told me about and was, in fact, very single. He'd lived with her not 6 months previous. I hit the roof and called him a liar, then called it off.
He hasn't said much only that he's not lied and she's just a customer wanting work done.
I'm broken. When I said I loved him, I meant it. He's completely changed towards me, blocked me on everything and gone cold as ice. 3 months ago I was his world.
I'm feeling such dissonance between the man I fell for and whoever this man is.....please help. I'm so lost.
(Please be gentle, i'm really very delicate at the moment.)